Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi Broken Heart and thanks for posting here.
The reason you cite for ending the relationship - fear of getting hurt or of hurting her (according to your second post) - is paradoxical in that it caused considerable hurt. You literally sabotaged the relationship and you're continuing to sabotage yourself (and possibly her) by trying to redefine your current relationship with her. You cannot move from an emotionally intense relationship directly into a friendship without causing yourself (and possibly her) ongoing hurt. Maybe you need to do two things: firstly, stop seeing her - break all contact. This will be painful but it will allow you mourn the loss of the relationship you had. Secondly, in order to prevent this happening again in your future relationships, you need to go into counselling to address the root problem - your fear of commitment.
You're either in a relationship with her or you're not. You decide. But your current 'friendship' is not functional for either of you and is holding you both back in a very uncomfortable space.
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