Our expert says:
Its difficult to influence the behaviour of a child you only see part-time, and I understand your concern of the potential influence on the child of an app[arently irresponsible and dishonest mother. Messing his pants suggests he is troubled perhaps in other ways, too. If he spends most of the week with you, and only 2 days with the mother, her influence is unlikely to be too large. best get him assessed properly by a child psychologist, who can also help to plan a program to change this bad behaviour.
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