Posted by: Tu Spirit | 2008/11/17

Gender troubles

Hi! I'  m a 26yr old man. When I was younger, I remember being sexually aroused by women. My father was verbally and emotionally abusive, had an affair and my parents thus divorced when I was 9. This was traumatic for me and I harboured much anger towards him. But we'  re great buddies now.At age 13, I remember seeing my guy friend in a Speedo and I became aroused. Since that day, I have been physically attracted to men. My problem is, I don'  t want a relationship with a man. I'  ve had 1 girlfriend with whom I had a sexual relationship. I'  ve never had anal sex with a man (disgusts me), but I have had oral sex/heavy petting/kissing.When I wank, I think of naked men/their -|- s, but afterwards, it always seems so pathetic. I can only imagine myself marrying a woman. I don'  t think I am gay. And I am not effeminate. Everyone thinks I'  m straight, but I'  m so confused. Even though I want a relationship with a woman, I could never tell her naked guys turn me on, women don'  t react positively towards that. I don'  t really want to be physically attracted to men, but it is just so. This may be controversial but I view the gay lifestyle as a cult and I think that human sexuality is too labile anyway to be limited by such a ridiculous term. I'  m not just smart, I'  m fiercely intelligent and this complicates matters. No-one knows about this sexual orientation of mine &  I don'  t intend to tell anyone bar you. Please advise. Thank you.

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