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Question
Posted by: curious | 2007/08/06

gay question

Hi there. I have know quite a few gay men in my life and have always enjoyed their company and their personalities are usually so interesting for me, but I've never been so close to any of them that I can ask them a load of questions about gay people in general. Over the years I have built up a number of questions regarding the gay world and maybe somebody could help me to answer them and I am genuinely interested and curious about this.

You get two guys and they have a relationship - I think that one is generally the more female partner and the other male. Who decides who is who?

You get transvestites who dress as women and they dress up and/or perform in clubs where there are men. They obviously like to attract the men and the men like them, but sexually they would have a gay relationship. Why would a man be attracted to a women to have a sexual relationship with a man - why does'nt he just have a relationship with a woman because he obviously likes the looks of a woman.

Then you get the people who have sex changes to become a women - they obviously want to have a relationship with a man as a woman. But, in many cases the man who they have the relationship with is gay.

I am very interested in know more about this topic

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Our users say:
Posted by: Caveman | 2007/08/06

About the "male" and "female" thing - by calling it like that you will not truely understand man to amn relationship. The guy that like to receive might be as manly as say, er... you for instance. Just because he really likes it, like that, doesn't make him "female".

In any case... Usually it is a natural thing that happens by itself, like a love at first sight kind of thing. You look at the guy and think, o, my, wow... good heavens... and at the end of the little story - he will just fit nicely into your world, and complement your needs- whatevel "role" you are.

Lots of guys like it bothways and sort of make turns, if your team loose the rugby, dan slaap jy onder, ;-) only joking ;-) But yeah, somethimes you feel like this other times you feel like that. Nice hey! ;-)

Reply to Caveman
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/08/06

Curious,

It is always a pleasure to provide people who really want to learn and understand something with the correct information.

Sadly lack of knowledge leads to misunderstanding and stigmatic stereo typing of innocent people who want nothing else but EQUAL treatment.

What I did not correct in the previous post was the “hoax” that Transvests are born with both genitalia??? (Utmost rubbish!!!)

People born with ambiguous genitalia (meaning half male and half female) are medically referred to as INTERSEXED (Yip the I in GLBTI) and don’t have fully functional male or female genitalia. So sadly they are not people who can decide on the turn of a coin to be male or female. In earlier years bad medical practice had intersex people turned into the wrong gender by means of early age surgery rather then leaving such an infant to first display his/her gender of choice/instinct before commencing surgery.

Transvests as such are potential heterosexual men born with perfect male genitalia but cross dress for sexual pleasure be that in private or to engage with another person who may be same gender or opposite gender.

People trapped or born in the wrong “body” are termed professionally as transsexuals (no NOT she males) who by instinct feel they have a mind that is opposite to their genitalia and will seek surgery to align their genitalia with their minds. They are not necessary gay and can be bi or heterosexual.

Just like a person cannot BECOME gay, Trans people don’t become the opposite gender of birth by choice, they are born with a mind gender that does not match their physical gender. Imagine you happy to be a boy or a girl and then wake up one morning in the body of the opposite gender, at first it may be funny until you realize that you stuck with that for the rest of your life.

Nikki





Reply to Nikki
Posted by: curious | 2007/08/06

Thanks for the reply sensible reply Nikki. I am really interested in understanding more about this as it can be confusing and I appreciate your reply - will look up more info as suggested as it has always facinated me. Your point on transvests is interesting as I always thought that all transvestites were definitely gay.

Reply to curious
Posted by: Nikki | 2007/08/06

Curious,

You have good and valid questions and if I may shed some light for you.

1. Disregard the reply from Existenz as that is typical of someone who has no knowledge and adds to the stigma of misunderstanding the differences between sexual and gender orientation.
2. Gay means SAME SEX and has nothing to do with who is which gender role in a relationship.
3. Transvests are addressing a GENDER presentation issue that has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
4. If you would like further a precise and ACCURATE info, please feel free to visit the Transgender Advisor forum.


Existenz,

I am not sure if you are trying to be funny or really don’t understand the issue at hand. I take offence none the less.

I also request eXpert to delete the RUBBISH you posted.

Nikki
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: Existenz | 2007/08/06

Well, on the question of who decides who is the "male" and who is the "female", my partner and I decided that we're both closet lesbians so we're both the female. Usually what happens though, is that both partners compete in a stiletto-sprint whilst balancing a full glass of redbull and vodka in one hand and and ashtray with lit fag in the other. Whoever wins can then fulfil the female role. (I've won 6 straight sprints so far... wanna go head to head with me to see who is more of a woman?)

On the question of transvestites, didn't you know that they're actually born with 2 sets of genitalia which actually makes them gender-neutral? Men like them 'cos they can decide whether they want to be a man or woman without having to compete in a stilletto-sprint (see above).

As for the last question, I think those sex changes are just sprinters who have decided to go into retirement... they have decided to hang up their sprinting stillettos and can now don casual shoes in private.

Reply to Existenz
Posted by: Pleb | 2007/08/06

There are sevral web sites and psychological therapies regarding these issues

Try these as well as references on this site and i'm sure you will get closer to understanding

human beings in general are very complicated mammals

Reply to Pleb
Posted by: Pleb | 2007/08/06

There are sevral web sites and psychological therapies regarding these issues

Try these as well as references on this site and i'm sure you will get closer to understanding

human beings in general are very complicated mammals

Reply to Pleb

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