Posted by: cornflake_boy | 2008/06/05

gay, out and over it all. So what now?

hi guys,

even though one needs to admit and accept ones sexuality, I think that we should remember that sexual orientation is merely someting else that should be classified under "being honest with yourself" and "seeing life the way it is". we need to remember that your sexuality is just one part of your whole being, so if you focus on it TOO much it seems as if it might be the center. We as gay/bi/whathehellever also need to be careful to not over indulge in ourselves just because of this thing called "sexuality". in my experience you loose track of your existing relationships in the world over one small thing that occupies all of your thoughts all of the time. i guess what im trying to say is try to stand "outside" of it all and try to see what REALLY is important. whatever you choose to take to bed only satisfies human nature - so what will it take to satisfy spiritual divinity?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi to you Cornflake_Boy and thanks for an interesting initial post - but then you kinda lost it with your follow-up post?

The archetypal "queer bitch" voice needs to monitor itself.... it has a tendency to self-implode, but let's hear what others have to say?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cornflake_boy | 2008/06/06

old hands? god, you sound like a regurgitated celine dion single.

you must be an old (overweight?) gay man? one of those 16 going on 30-somethings? bless.

as for the overwhelming use of "" ?? only ever really used by over ambitous amateurs or frustrated intellectuals perhaps? pick a finger Oprah.

the "new comers" must of course feel that they should have a place they can express/bitch whatever. but that is not the question, you see. i am not questioning that. as someone who used to belong to the same gay-so-im-sorry-4-myself club, i would just like to let people (for the one or 2 who care) know that
at the end of the day your sexuality should not be the sole focus of your life. face it, admit it and then get over it. don't fuss so much about it so it determines the rest of your life. too many people have had to live like that then for people now to still continue living like it now.

"keep well"

Reply to cornflake_boy
Posted by: Nikkits | 2008/06/05

I think we must not lose site of the fact that IT IS GOOD TO TALK ABOUT homosexuality and/or being gay.

I don’t think we should stop people from talking about it or discourage them to talk less. WE WHERE FORCED TO NOT TALK ABOUT FOR YEARS and that was long enough.

Having said that I hear the “old hands” too and yes it gets to a point where one does not talk much about it or think much about it as one did in the beginning and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I want to call it “moving on” or getting on with one’s life.

Today we have a place to come to and talk about IT or whatever else affects our lives because of IT and that we “as old hands” must always encourage people to do.

There is nothing worse then being silenced or ignored or being spoken DOWN to and belittled.

I have the opinion that if people get to a point where they have had enough of talking about it, thinking about it, etc, then give the forums a break ( I did that not so long ago and it gave me a new perspective)

The new perspective for me personally is that I don’t have to talk about it because it is about me. Now, with so much more experience and a sense of self maturity it is more important for me to come here and try and HELP others who happen to be now where I was a few years ago (and there was no one to help me other then degrade me)

I also think that the “old hands” need to take the talk or focus to something else with “I am over it” posts on various subjects the happen in one’s life as a person (not a gay person)

Main thing is the “new comers” must always feel they can come here and talk about gay without feeling they are boring the more experienced.


Reply to Nikkits
Posted by: LONEWOLF | 2008/06/05

Hi cornflake_boy. You make a valid point and I would like to hear some other opinions as well. As with all things in life it is about balance. If you work too much, or study too much, or go to church too much......., you negect other parts of your life. One should see things holistically, and not focus on one aspect alone. I can understand that people who feel threatened or abused in some way and fight for acceptance, might “over-indulge”. One can easily fall into this and should guard against it. In the past there were posts were the point was made that no straight person go about and say “I AM STRAIGHT”. So why do we tend to do it? I think it comes from our new found freedom and general acceptance, and us not being used to it yet????. I find gay people who goes on and on about being gay very tiresome. I often want to ask them SO WHAT, now get on with your life. Let’s hear some other views. Fernie, as an “outsider” with insight (for lack of another term), I would like your view.


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