Posted by: robs | 2007/02/28

Gay couple asked to 'cover up'

Hi all

i'm not sure if any of you were listening to 702 yesterday afternoon just before 4pm. Listeners were commenting on an incident which occurred the other day on a comair flight. Apparently a gay couple, i think one was british the other south african, were given a blanket by the stewardess and asked to 'cover up' after one of the couple was trying to calm his partner down, i imagine there must have been some turbulance in the air. apparently it was just a case of holding his hand, rubbing his arm etc, trying to calm his anxieties.

i think we can safely say had this been a heterosexual couple the 'cover up' business would not have occurred. Fortunately, the couple laid a charge of discrimination against the guilty party and comair did send apologies.

i'm wondering what other people feel with regard to public affection? Do you feel gay people go 'looking for trouble' by being affectionate in public, as one 702 listener put it, or do you think any kind of 'hardcore' affection by hetero or homosexual couples is frowned upon?

i'd love to hear your comments.


p.s you will be happy to know that most of the 702 listeners were appalled by the stewardess' act and felt greater tolerance is needed

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi Robs and thanks for this post.

This was most definitely not a sexual act - it was an expresion of affection and emotional comfort between two people. The irony, as has been pointed out, is that the couple in question could very well have been legally married.

I'm 100% convinced, based on information available to me, that this incident was based on prejudice. By an employer of a large poplulation of queers - who of us isn't familair with the 'Koffie Moffie' syndrome?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Tiara | 2007/03/02

Hello Junior I agree with 99% of your posts here but not this one, and certainly not in this context. The expert was making a valid point which I agree with. Maybe the word moffie freaked you out a bit?

Reply to Tiara
Posted by: Anon | 2007/03/02

I hear you Junior and you make a good point but get real, come one? There's no debate here, the vast majority of guys who beome stewards with the airlines are gay. Not only in SA, this is an international relaity. And OK, you do get straight male ballet dancers - but really, the majority are gay, so why are you uncomfortable with that? DEAL with it sunshine, we tend to gravitate to certain careers, and many of us become Koffie Moffies. Which is fine. Its a fact. There's no shame in that and I get concerned when we become overly protective of ourselves. My 25cents worth anyway.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Junior | 2007/03/02

I read about this in the weekend paper and was utterly appauled. Not that I fly comair, because my experiences with them are completely negative.

I beleive that a same-sex couple wishing to express their love towards one another in public are entitled to do so. Why should we surcum to the predjuduce's of society and hide our affections. However, I don't think that we should use public affection as a mean of flaunting our sexual orientation.

Regarding the Koffie moffie syndrome, I think it's ignorant to believe that a persons job is indicative of their sexuality. That because you hold a job that is predominantely entered into by female's, that you are therefore effeminate, and thus Gay. Where is the logic behind that? We once initiated a class discussion concerning the matter and I was disgusted by some of the remarks hat were made about male nurses. Personally, I look up to male nurses for having the strength to deal with that sort of s**t.

I hope that the couple who decide to take on Comair are succeful in their court application.


Reply to Junior
Posted by: rob | 2007/03/01

I agree with Lockness in that sometimes i find it very difficult to stop myself being affectionate in public, so i have also taken the stance of, 'if a heterosexual couple can do it without offending anyone then, hell, i'll do it as well.'

very interesting what kyle said about the negative feelings many expressed on the cape talk show. the 702 show was hosted by lee benni and the majority of contributors were accepting of our gay 'lifestyle.' of course there was your occasional bible basher who had climbed out of their pew to bash us..wonder where they are when it comes to child rape, domestic abuse etc?

FYI i was reading some archives the other day from this forum and there is a contributor with the same nick as me, and she seems to take it very seriously, poor little breeder (thanks DLB for the term - love it) so new nick is whatwhat24

cheers all, hope it's a good day

Reply to rob
Posted by: Kyle | 2007/03/01

I also heard this being discussed on Cape Talk, they had the expert from here answering people who phoned in and I was shocked at how negative many people were about our affection being expressed in public. Quite disturbing, especially if you think that a couple could even be legally MARRIED....

Reply to Kyle
Posted by: DLB | 2007/02/28

I wish I had someone to be affectionate with. :( I don't think I would give a damn what the breeders think.

Reply to DLB
Posted by: lockness | 2007/02/28

i cant cover up my affection and i dont. sometimes i feel a bit uncomfortable, but then i stare back at them that makes them look away very quickly (mayby its the fear that the gay stare might turn them too) anyway, people are always quick to judge, even gay people, lets face it, there are some people that stare at certain styles, ie: hey that guy is a queen or look at that butch girl, but at the end of the day, even though we are the same, we must always remember that we are different in many ways, and i think that straight people forget that. they generalise, hey she is lesbian, she must be a dyke, and well we know what they say about the poor boys.

Reply to lockness
Posted by: Gareth | 2007/02/28

To me it is just plain wrong that ANY public affection should be frowned upon. Not one of the people that stare would like it if they were with their loved ones and any public affection gets frowned upon. So I am ALL for public affection. Of course, like Joe said, most of it is still discreet. But if I want to hold my boyfriends hand at a restaurant, I am going to, and if they want to stare, let them. I refuse to feel shy about it, they don't, why should I. I am not trying to rub anyone's nose in it or cause a scene. But if they feel that it is "looking for trouble" I say, bring it on! I am free in my country, and if they dare to make trouble, I will drag them to court so fast, their heads would spin. Like they say...f*ck the people, we ARE the people.
We should NEVER be ashamed to love.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: NatureFreak | 2007/02/28

I know the feeling Rob. Even married couples can be troublesome, because the husband finds it hot, which in turn can make the wife quite jealous, anyhow.

I tend to show a lot of affection, doesn’t matter where we are, however my girlfriend doesn’t always like it...I think its from reading this forum often, which makes me want to be more open in public, almost as if I want to pave the way for younger couples (to come)...not that I put up a show or anything, but I don’t feel like hiding my affection.

When I say: show affection, I don’t mean hardcore, only the occasional stolen kiss on the cheek and my g/f arm hooked in mine.

Hopefully the Comair situation has made them put some policies in place, regarding this sort of thing.

Reply to NatureFreak
Posted by: rob | 2007/02/28

i'm glad i'm not the only one who would have caused a major scene if i was asked to cover up!

i do find as a lesbian that, if you want to put it this way, my girlfriend and i are 'tolerated' a lot more easily. in actual fact, as both of us are both quite feminine, we have so many guys tell us we are so 'hot.' when i go clubbing with my straight friends and a guy wants to chat me up, and then i tell them about my girlfriend, it makes the guy try even harder!

do any other woman in a female relationship have the same response?


Reply to rob
Posted by: Deeve | 2007/02/28

Hi Rob,
This has been discussed here before, and most responded, I recall, that they are not particularly keen to 'go for it' in public. My B/f hates any form of public affection, and actually gets cross with me if I do anything to upset him. Most of the restuarants we frequent all 'know' us by now, and we never have the slightest problem. Their other patrons are all open minded people...the tone is set so to say.
I find this all rather strange. My B/F and I have been together for 6 years now, and it is nothing but normal for us to go everwhere together, be seen together, book into places together, travel together, without the slightest hitch. Maybe we never look for trouble...I don't know. We always book the seats where there are two on their own.
BUT, Comair are lucky it wasn't me, I would have taken them to task there and then! It would have been a case of 'YOU WANT WHAT.....???" A simple apology would NEVER have been enough!!!!! They would NOT have seen the last of me.

Reply to Deeve
Posted by: Joe | 2007/02/28

Went out to a restaurant in Pta last week and opposite us was 2 hetero couples and did they check us out!!!!!!!!! Gee whiz - I will never kiss my bf openly in public, but when we eat out i tend to touch his leg or holding his hand becuase i love him but in 95% of the cases it really goes unnoticed - otherwise if i see i have a audience then i put on my most macho appearance (luckily i gym) and give them the look and it normally stops.

But if i was on that plane i would have caused a big big rackus!!!!!

Reply to Joe

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