Posted by: Mo | 2008/12/18


Hi CS, I am in a very abusive and manipulating relationship and have been for the past 7 years.My fiance has cheated over and over, he wont let me go because he is weak and I am his crutch.When I suspect his up to his tricks he gets mentally abusive, recently his been saying hurtful things to me, judging the way I speak etc.I have picked him up so many times and got him back on his feet medical wise.The moment his feeling well then there is no one like him, when sober his MR T, wears suits and ties bought from Stutterfords etc when drunk his a pig, doesn' t bath or brush his teeth, his real low scum even craps in his pants.If we go out he will grab the waitress' s or woman at the car clean and kiss them and I really feel ashamed as his a white man and he conduct himself like thrash.I am coloured.
I don' t hold all this against him but help him clean up.
He will buy me anything and everything to get me to stay, deposits large amounts of money to bribe me but I am tired of this and want out.Problem is my 12yr old son, he spoils this child and gives him anything he wants and very expensive stuff, my son gets more than I do at times, I feel my son will hate me if I take him away from all this,what and how do I get him to understand that this is no life, there is no happiness here,no love, no trust, it' s a cold home and all the years of this abuse physically and mentally have taken their toll on me, I now want out, how I put up with it all these years amazes me, but what I know is that some of us woman are brain washed by men like this and we get to know when the time is right to move on in life, one can' t tell you to move on it must be your own desision.Lord I can' t wait to leave this phathetic little boy of 40 and get a life of which I don' t have as he pulls the strings.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he has been and is abusive and cheating --- why are you still in thatg relationship at all ? Leave, and protect yourself, perhaps with the advice of an experienced group like POWA. Stop accepting bribes and empty promises. Spoiling his son is no good for the kid, either, and is a form of trying to buy the kid's love. The child may miss the spoiling, but ultimately it will be better for him. do NOT allow the child to continue learning to abuse woman, from his spineless father. Cut the strings, then he can't pull them

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/12/18

Please leave, he is teaching your child that these is the way to treat a woman and if you leave you need to explain t6o your child why, so that he can what is right and what is wrong because it is wrong the way he treat you.

if you can' t do it for your self do it for your son!!

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: Tango | 2008/12/18

Yes - he pulls the strings because you allow him too. Contact POWA. Its an organisation that could help you, if you really want to, leave this miserable life. You son will model his behaviour on this man.

Reply to Tango

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