Posted by: Thando | 2009/03/16

Furtherup of the stepdaughter

Please assist me I need your advices. I am just about to get married in December have not signed yet and staying with my husband to be step daughter 13 years and an adopted daughter from my husb late brother and I have a 6 months baby.

Before we stayed together my husb and daughter stayed together. Last time we found her romancing my son. We discussed the matter and I never wanted her to hold him again.

On Saturday I had visitors and decided to give her the baby because I was very busy. Something just ticked on my mind that I should go and look at the baby and gues what she was busy with the baby' s trouser trying to take it out, I got in and shouted at her, and the other thing that I have noticed is that she touches her dad in a funny way like stroking, massaging and worse yesterday when we were from church she always stays in a front sit with the dad she was worring a short skirt and sitting and like showing him her panty at the front, I then told her to sit right. Yesterday afternoon I confronted the the dad about the whole thing he said he does not notice anything because he is close to the daughter and so he wont notice anything wrong and maybe its because she used to stay at the mother' s home, I said but the girl used to stay with you so I am blaming you. What could be the matter am I guesing right or what I think the daughter is used to having sex with the dad. Or am I wrong.

Please worried I have stayed only 4 months with the daughter but I am furtherup, I also said the person who taught her all this nonsense should stay with her and have suggested that we take her to her aunts but the dad does not want anything he say he will speak to her.

What should I do.

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Our expert says:
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It does indeed sound as though the girl is more sexually aware and active than mos of her age, and that she might possibly have been molested, by someone else.
I agree with katy. Sendinh her back to where she may have been molested and taught such behaviour will only worsen things. Rather have a calm talk to her, as a woman, about her experiences so far, and about what people consider right and wrong. And if you can take her to see a child psychologist or a clinic for abused children ( there are some in different parts of the country ) they may be able to find out more about whether she has been molested, and by whom, so she can be helped. If she has indeed been molested, and by her father, then you would want to see that child welfare takes care of her, and you'd want to move out and protect your own child.

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Our users say:
Posted by: katy | 2009/03/16

hey thando

i don' t think send ing her back to whoever taught her that is the right option.

she needs someone to talk to her about what is right and what is wrong. she needs t ounderstand that then genetal area is a private area and no one should be touchin it an a way that makes her feel uncomfy. clearly,s he has some problem and needs that problem to be sorted out. Can u maybe arrange sessions with a child psychologist to determine if anything untoward ha sindeed happened to her to cause her to be this promiscuous?

i hope her dad has never molested her, if this is the case then it' s best you take your kids and walk away from this altogether and try and get the little girl some help to prevent further trauma.

Reply to katy

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