Our expert says:
Its really not practical for me to go back an re-read earlier posings, folks -- within the admin secton through which I work on this site, the postings are not numbered, and searching for earlier messages tedious and time-consuming.
It certainly does sound as though MIL is spending more time in your home than in her own --- what is this about ? Have you discussed this with your husband ? Obviously your marriage counsellor / personal counsellor must have gone into all the relevant details, but it sounds rather lame to say you must just accept the unacceptable and let the old woman do whatever she pleases. It shouldn't be hard for your husband to understand, even though she is his mother. What she is doing is selfish and intrusive --- has he not grown adult enough to be able to manage without his mother around all the time ?
Maybe you need to point out to him how much he clearly loves being babied, and to need mothering more than he appreciates having a wife. It is NOT true, as he says, that family members must always take precedence over his wife and his personal direct family --- this is not so.
Your description of his collection of toys is extremely relevant --- this is a big kid, not apparently interested in being a husband. Is it worth you considering moving out for the duration of her visit, to stay with a friend or family of yours, telling him you'll return when he's ready to be a man rather than a boy, and when he wants a wife rather than a mother ? The risk, I suppose, is that she could decide to move in permanently to look after her poor little boy. Is he an only child ? Otherwise consider at least talking with a divorce atorney
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