Posted by: Joan | 2013/01/23

Friend''s Step Daughter

My friend married 2 years ago. His wife had 2 daughters from a previous marriage. The girls are now 11 and 7.

My friend has been having a problem with the 11 yr old. He told me that last night she started crying and told her mum that he came into her room when she was changing. She went on about it.
He then told me that sometimes she touches his bum. He has told her that it is not right and she must not do it again to him or anyone. But she will pass by and do it.

He said that the younger sister told both him and the mum this morn that the older sister was trying to get her to say things that were not true.

He can''t understand this behaviour. Says that the wife says she is just angry over the divorce and she maybe wants to get her dad back home. But they divorced over 3 yrs ago.

He says he can''t understand such behaviour because he cares for them as his own.

What would make a child behave like this?

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Our expert says:
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Whatever is going on between him and the step-daighter is wrong and unwholesome, to whatever degree either or both of them might be contributing towards the situation. Best get each of the girls seen and assessed individually by a good local child psychologist, one who would be open to also seeing and speaking with your husband.
Its not unknown for children in one way or another to try to manipulate adults, and to try to destroy a second marriage in the fond belief that this will restore to them the parental marriage they grew up with

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Our users say:
Posted by: Joan | 2013/01/23

It''s my friend''s step kids. He has complained to her mum about her behaviour several times. The mum says she is just behaving like this because she wanted her dad back.

The younger one confessed to her grandparents that the sister makes things up and has been telling her that she must lie too. The mother says that the older one has a bad character just like her ex husband and she must be ignored.

My friend says he is worried about this child making up such stories.He is uncomfortable around her and can''t understand or explain her behaviour. What if she behaves like this with someone else, or makes up a story about someone else.

I told him that she needs help. I also told him that its wrong to say the child is evil. She has a problem that needs to be dealt with and they should see a child psych. Told him to have a chat with his wife and to tell her that she can''t explain this behaviour by saying the child has bad character like her dad, but needs to take action.

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