Our expert says:
This hardly sounds like a friendship. And she sounds exceedingly prickly, and insisting on avoiding even mild discussion of areas where she may feel inferior, or simiply not interested ( no good friend finds aspects of your life which are important to you, uninteresting. If only her feelings matter, and yours are irrelevant to her, that's certainly not a Best Friend - is it any genuine kind of friend ? As you point out, she insists on you listening to her infertility woes.
Helen seems to be not quite getting the point. Work IS important to you, just as childlessness IS important to her - so they ought to be something you could both talk about and listen to, IF you are important to each other.
She seems to want you to simply listen to her gripes. I dont see how other readers can view YOU as selfishly self-absorbed, and not see your friend as at least equally, if not more so. This woman seems to insist on an entirely one-way stream of woe from her side, and absorption from you.
Presumably those readers who bizarrely take only your "friend's" side, behave in exactly the same way, themselves.
If you want to discuss what troubles you about her, rather than just let the relationship drift apart, don't "confront" which is a current fashion and nonsense. Tell her calmly tjhat there are aspects of the relationship that trust you, and you would appreciate her listening thoughtfully as you try to express this, and you would then want to listen thoughtfully to how she feels about it.
And as Caro and Just Saying wisely point out, maybe its kinder just to drift apart, perhaps mentioning that you don't want to bore her with your work-related concerns, or to burden her with your worries. Its not a mater of who is at fault, but that this relationship is clearly not satisfying nor helpful for either of you. Wish her well, and move on
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