Posted by: Cheecky | 2004/10/08


Hi there

The problem is my friend and her boyfriend that was going out for 1 year and 3 months brokeup. She is very heartbroken and i know exactly how she feels but to make things worse her boyfriend and one of our best friend are seeing each other now. I am friends with the both of them and i try to keep both of them happy but it feels like im failing misserably. They are very angry with each other and keep on saying stuff that i know that they are gonna regret later on. When i speak to the one friend and later with the other it seems like the one dont want me to speak to the other. It feels like they are putting me in a position to choose one or the other but i want to be friends with the both of them and help both of them through this time. PLEASE HELP ME I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANY MORE!


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Our expert says:
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Hi there,

being caught between friends like this is such a difficult thing, and you are right to try and do the best thing by both of them, beacuse this way you are saying that you are not taking sides.

If you feel that you come under pressure from them to choose, make it clear that you are there for them, but that it is unfair to ask you to choose one friend and dump the other. If you think they are saying things they will later regret it can also be worth pointing this out to them in a way that helps them understand that it is the fact that they are hurt by the situation.

As well as helping the two of them and spending time with them, it is also imporatnt to have time for yourself away from both of them. If you are constantly in this situation it will get too much for you. So make sure you get some 'you' time!

I hope this has been of help. Post another question here if you need to.

Best wishes

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