Posted by: Smilie | 2004/11/05

FRIDAY funny *

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening
passion for baked beans. She loved them but
unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry
she thought to herself, He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying
on.." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans. Some months later her car broke down on
the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country she called her husband and told him that
she would be late because she had to walk home.
On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor
of the baked beans was more than she could
stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured
that she would walk off any ill effects by the time
she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner
and before she knew it, she had consumed three
large orders of baked beans. All the way home she
putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt
reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband
seemed excited to see her and exclaimed
delightedly, Darling, I have a surprise for dinner
tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her
chair at the table. She seated herself and just as
he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,
the telephone rang. He made her promise not to
touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went
to answer the telephone.
The baked beans she had consumed were still
affecting her and the pressure was becoming
almost unbearable, so while her husband was out
of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her
weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud,
but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her
napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.
Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped
three more, which reminded her of cooked
cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
conversation in the other room, she went on like
this for another ten minutes. When the telephone
farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she
fanned the air a few more times with her napkin,
placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it,
smiling contentedly to herself.
She was the picture of innocence when her
husband returned, apologizing for taking so long,
he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him
that she had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were
twelve dinner guests seated around the table to
wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

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Our expert says:
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Hmmm. Is that what they mean by "Many Happy Returns ? "

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