Posted by: Lizzy | 2007/05/07

found hubby masterbating this morning

me and my husband hasnt been doing it for the past weeks. the reason is he tells me he now working up until six thirty pm everyday. so he complains that he is tired all the time.

i have been arguing with him about that and these days we constatly fighting. this morning while he was bathing, i noticed that he is been quiet inside for some minutes, and he nornally doesnt close the bathroon door.

when i went inside he was busy doing himself. i just immediately went out. so when we were driving to work i asked if i did disturb him this morning.

he said no, u know i dont masterbate, so i was just touching myself.

i dont know how to take this. should i worry or not? i have a mixed feeling and i dont know what i will say to him after work.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

No, don't worry. 90 % of men masturbate, and the other 10 % lie and pretend that they don't. It's normal, and in no way unfaithful to their wives. Maybe he feels more in the mood in the morning than in the evening after a stressful day --- maybe you two can synchronize your plans differently !
Maybe, as JOhn suggests, it was re-assuring for him, to check that everything's still in working order, even if the stress is limiting his opportunities to feel fully in the mood.

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Our users say:
Posted by: PN | 2007/05/07

Lizzy, whilst there is nothing "pyhsically" wrong with a male or female for that matter "relieving" themselves through masterbation, the big question that needs to be asked is one of "why is he not having sex with you on regular basis" and two, is he not getting it elsewhere, that he is always too tired for u'?? ask yourself the question??

Reply to PN
Posted by: Du | 2007/05/07

Giv him some space. There is nothing wrong with giving uself a hand job

Reply to Du
Posted by: John | 2007/05/07


Masturbation is a very ordinary and unremarkable part of one's sexual make-up. Even as part of 'normal' (whatever that is) sexual activity with a partner, it is hardly worth raising an eyebrow over. If it is supplemental it is fine; if your husband is using it as a substitute then its another matter entirely.

Assuming that its the latter and his hand is the sole - or, if you want to be anatomically correct - palm source of his jollies and he is dating his hand, then there is indeed cause for concern.

This is also somewhat complicated. Sometimes a good hand-shake with one's self is a matter of reassurance, rather like a baby sucking a dummy for comfort. A sort of stress-reliever and comfort giver all at the same time. Sometimes a little solo flying can be preferable if one is (a) too lethargic to get into the whole complicated business of actual sex, (b) reluctant to face rejection, (c) tired of the same old nookie/position/pattern/routine, (d) only have a few precious minutes available for self-gratification or one is living in constant stress.

Whatever the case may be, a simple heart-to-heart should solve the problem. Don't be judgemental or horrified about it - it really is no big deal. Broach the subject calmly, and with an open mind. Depending on your own stance, you may even offer to have mutual masturbation sessions with him (same time, same room) as well as sex. If you have a positive view, then the silver lining here is an opportunity for you both to open up to each other about sex in general. He says he doesn't do this sort of thing - there is an old saying that holds that, when it comes to self-pleasure, there are two kinds of people: those that do it and those that lie and say they don't!

Reply to John
Posted by: Gloomer | 2007/05/07

and try waking him up a little early tomorrow morning -- jump on top of him and attack - what is he going to do - throw you off?

Reply to Gloomer
Posted by: I know the feeling | 2007/05/07

The reason why your'll fight so much is because of the sex life. . .

He is your husband so I am sure you know how to turn him on. ..

If he was matubating that should tell you something. . . That he needs some "loving".

Turn him on and ask him to take a long bath and join him. Or wear something kinky and strut your stuff. . .

Or be naked around him(Thats a big turn on). . .

Make him Horny and if you see him matubating again then take his hands away and you take over. One thing should lead to another. And then do what you must.

Get your sex life in order and you will see how your marraige come in order

Reply to I know the feeling
Posted by: vixen | 2007/05/07

well if you were a better lover and gave him what he needs he wouldnt have to use his hands dearie!

Reply to vixen
Posted by: Gloomer | 2007/05/07

Seduce him

Reply to Gloomer
Posted by: Lizzy | 2007/05/07

How can i try helping him out if he is refusing to sleep with me? he always says he is tired.

Reply to Lizzy
Posted by: Loop | 2007/05/07

Dont stress, all men masterbate, part of life.
Next time help him out.

Reply to Loop
Posted by: p1 | 2007/05/07

Say nothing , and f&*&k the hell out of him tonight

Reply to p1

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