Our expert says:
You surely realize that you behaved disgracefully, and must have hurt her terribly, showing no respect whatsoever for her, the relationship or the child ? Why should she forgive you ? What possible benefit could that be for her ? Wht on earth WOULD she want a man like you in her life ? Cheating once is bad, but might just possibly be a mistake you might not repeat. But after the second time, its a pattern, and likely to recur.
If she has any sense at all, she will go to the maintenance court and get the magistrate to FORCE you to may proper maintenance for your child. Its appalling that you felt iot right to punish the child by stopping maintenance because she didn't want to give you more chances to cheat on her. As father of the child you are obliged by law to pay full maintenance for the child until it is old enough to support itself.
The duty to pay maintenance has nothing whatever to do with whether or not you are given access to the child. You could attent the court hearing and ask for access to be formally granted to you, but the court would need to consider the circumstances, and might well not agree.
Boys benefit from access to good fathers, but lose nothing whatever from losing contact with someone who thinks so little of cheating repeatedly on the mother.
getting back with you is NOT "the right thing" and getting you to pay maintena nce for the child you chose to father, is not spiteful.
YOu are not entitled to demand that she be stupid. You dont get to dictate what happens.
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