Posted by: INSPIRED PARENTING | 2007/12/07


Dear KKB

I don't think a book is going to help your daughter right now. She is missing her dad and doesn't understand why she can't see him. You need to encourage her to express how she is feeling. Let her draw pictures and do an angry dance or punch a pillow if she needs to.

You need to tell her that her father lives very faraway and is not able to be there for her, but still loves her (if that is the truth).

If he has abandoned her then you need to explain to her that not all dads know how to be dads. Some dads get scared and don't know how to do it. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU REASSURE HER THAT YOU WON'T ABANDON HER AS WELL.

It is important that she knows that she has a dad but that he can't be there for her the way her friends dads are.

Answer all her questions honestly without putting her dad down. Remember she has a right to love her dad, even if he is not there for her. She also needs to have her feelings acknowledged. Encourage her to talk about him if she wants to.

If her dad is not returning, try to find an uncle or grandfather that can step in and be a strong positive male figure in your daughter's life.

Good luck!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Excellent and realistic response --- thanks IP !

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