Posted by: SBN | 2007/04/03

Folks driving me crazy!

My husband, my baby boy and I live in a house underneath my parents'. The deal was that we could watch after my mother when my father was overseas, and then my mother could look after my son whilst I study during the day. It was also mentioned that they wouldn't charge us that much so that we could save to buy ourselves a house of our own. When it was time to pay the 1st months rent, my father informed us that the rent was exactly the same amount that we paid at our previous house.
The probem is that we (my hubby, son and I) dont have a life of our own anymore! They've totally taken controll and it's as if I'm a child back in my parent's house again. (My husband's 30, I'm 28). They want to know everything. If we decide to go somewhere over the weekend they question us about where we're going, ect.
I have to hear every day how fat I am and why don't I go on a diet. (I have a medical condition that causes this, but they dont listen when I try to explain this). She calls me childish and selfish and constantly puts me down. I'm in tears daily!
I constantly have to argue about my little one because my parents dont respect my wishes regarding him. I've asked them very nicely on a few occations not to give him sweets before breakfast or supper and then they'll go and deliberately giv him some. I questioned my mother and her answer was that she's a grandmother and that's what grandparents do.

Now we've decided to move out. For the sake of our marriage and my sanity. The problem is that I dont want to cause a drift between us. They build on a room for my boy only last month, which cost them a bit. But, we cant even feed the dogs without the sound of the food falling into the bowl bothering them!!!
How do I go about this? How do we tell the that we're looking for another place? Please help before I go insane!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a bad deal, and if the rent is much the same, wouldn't you three be better off moving off on your own again ? What on earth is the value in staying with people who treat you and your family so insultingly ? And her daft idea that there's a section of the Constitution somewhere that ordains that Grandparents are allowed to feed sweets to the grandkids any time they feell like it ? Nonsense ! Just tell them that you two have given this long and careful thought, and have decided to move out, as you need your independence and privacy.

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Our users say:
Posted by: P | 2007/04/05

Heeee heeee heeee...what a baby. Truth hurts

Reply to P
Posted by: SBN | 2007/04/04

P, you are a real ass. I didnt move in with my folks, it's a seperate house. It was suppose to be a simbiotic relationship. Next time before you make a comment like that do yourself a favour and read the post. I pay to live there and we live SEPERATELY. They dont pay for ANYTHING of ours.

Thanks to the rest for the comments and advise!

Reply to SBN
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/04/04

Write her a letter and tell her exactly how you feel and if she still doesn't want to understand everything then move!

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: :) | 2007/04/04

Vat jou goed en TREK.

Reply to :)
Posted by: RMC | 2007/04/04

If you dont get out the relationship WILL become worse. By moving out you can still save it. And surely you can drop baby off at their place if you need them to look after him, or perhaps find a creche that can take him part time to fit in with your studies.

My MIL did the same thing with sweets, thanks to her my 1 year old aquired the taste for coke

Reply to RMC
Posted by: p | 2007/04/04

Look this is going to sound sh**t but my husbands sister is doing something similar 2 u. They had a child and moved back into the house as her husband is studying. All I can say is u are old enough to look after yourselves and you have the responsibility of a child. Don't u think that its time u grow up and take responsibility for ur own lives. Jeeeeez! U can't live off ur folks 4eva. If u live with ur folks u will have them in ur hair. Be flipping greatful u still have them around. People like u just annoy the CR***P out of me cos u can't grow up

Reply to p
Posted by: cv | 2007/04/04

Arn't you packed yet,if I must be in such a dilema I will move like the wind.Offcourse there will be crumbels about you folks moving out, but in time it will all go over.

Reply to cv

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