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Question
Posted by: Patrick | 2007/04/10

Flirting SMS on wife's cellphone

The meeting has been set up already and the colleague has confirmed via e-mail to my wife that him and his wife are available. So it is going ahead. I intend to make the encounter as cordial as possible and therefore I MIGHT not raise the calls and sms's depending on how the meeting goes. Please remember that I have never met the colleague and his wife, and my wife has never met her colleague's wife although my wife has spent a considerable amount of time with the colleague. I think this will be an opportunity for everyone to get to know each other so as to develop the trust that has now been broken.

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Our users say:
Posted by: joe | 2007/04/11

you are in for a surprise ma bra,

what are you going to say to them, i think you i saw an sms that was meant for you but huh it did not reach you, you cannot blame someone for your wife's behaviour, hell you should blame yourself.

you are going to come out a fool out of this one ma bra..and be warned this may just be the strike your marriage needs to go under...if you are willing to lose your wife because of something little like a flirting sms go ahead, you mean to tell me you have never once flirt throughout your marriage..get out of here.

people will always be attracted to things or people they cannot have that's is just human. why do you think she did not send the sms ...doubts maybe cause she knows she loves you but hey you are so into ruin your life so go ahead..

but your approach sucks big time

Reply to joe
Posted by: Emmeline | 2007/04/10

Maybe you should speak to the other guy first and find out what's going on. Maybe this is only coming from your wife - who knows? Why hurt his wife if he is innocent in all this? Does he know what the "meeting" is all about? Your wife could've been trying to start something with this man and chickened out and that's why she did not send the message. However there are red lights going on when MARRIED people send sms like the one she wanted to send. What's her problem anyway - is she not happy with her relationship with you? The counselling might help, but try to speak to her colleague before you have the meeting so as to hear his side of the story too. These kind of sms are totally inappropriate between colleagues unless there is something going on - it could be one-sided, ie your missus having a crush on him alternatively there could be something more to this. I hope for your sake that there is no hanky-panky going on as so many people stand to get very hurt in such a situation.

Reply to Emmeline
Posted by: :) | 2007/04/10

the meeting is the best thing to do! Remember to enjoy the meal*S*

Reply to :)
Posted by: John | 2007/04/10

Detente, or 'talks' are often wonderful ways to resolve conflict or, indeed, to prevent it. Ask FW.

But, if the point is to enlighten your spouse as to the actual reality of the Object of Her Affection's wife - as opposed to her virtual reality - then I must express diluted enthusiasm.

The issue here is two-fold: first, you suspect a little bit of the old hanky-panky (or at least a little bit foreplay if not the actual thing) and you have feelings of insecurity and whether you can trust her with a sim card or not. Having a meeting so that all the attendees can see that the other delegates are real people hardly addresses your problem. I guess the real issue - rather like the proverbial elephant in the room - will huff and puff and everyone will feel awkward, except the the other guy's wife who will simply feel confused and puzzled. At the end of the meeting, issues of potential infidelity and the future terms of your marriage will hang in the balance.

I suggest you address these matters and not bother with an awkward and pointless meeting. Infidelity, as the unsent sms indicates, could have happened with any guy and not that specific one only, so you will, in effect, be dealing with the symptom rather than the cause. The delightful Ness suggests she was missing something - her common sense, perhaps? - that 'made' her do this. As Handy as the suggestion is, I suspect it's not true.

As for the barbed and waspish response from Joy, I can only think that she is as well-named as the Ministry of Peace in the novel "1984" (which, in fact, conducted war).

Reply to John
Posted by: C. | 2007/04/10

Well in my book this subject is closed. Don't even know if I want an update in a few days, but for those who actually gives a damn, write. Why the hell not. You do seem like the attention loving sort anyway, so no use trying to stop you from doing ANYTHING, right? I hope you get the answers you need, and DON'T go messing up things for others who might be happy and totally innocent in all this.

Reply to C.
Posted by: patrick | 2007/04/10

Joy, initially the meeting was going to raise issues such as intimate sms's and calls. Now I want my wife to meet the colleague's wife, hence I said the meeting would be cordial. I have also never met the colleague she sent the sms's to. Back-tracking after all parties have agreed to the meeting will certainly not have the desired effects on the whole saga. I am happy every that the other couple has agreed whole-heartedly to the meeting. Ness, I have considered counselling and I am going to go for it but certainly after this meeting.

Reply to patrick
Posted by: Ness | 2007/04/10

Hi Patrick

Ok so your going to do this. I would still recommend coucelling. Something is clearly missing in your relationship with your wife that she fet the need to flirt with another man.

Reply to Ness
Posted by: Joy | 2007/04/10

So you've already made up your mind! Why did you bother asking then? You've set it up and have for some strange reason never heard of something like a 'cancellation' in your life before. Dont ask our opinions on something when you've already decided. I mean honestly, whats the point?! Good luck regardless. I hope it works out as you hope it will.

Reply to Joy

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