Posted by: worried | 2009/04/20

first bite?

hi, i tried to ignore this but its clear that i have some sort of a problem, with every girlfriend ive heard when its time for us to intimate for the first time my erection seems to fail me at the last moment when im supposed to stick it in, although sometimes it gets up again with or without extra stimulation but sometimes like last wednesday it just wont get up.

but the interesting part is that after ive done for the 1st time with a particular gal then i have absolutely no problem what so ever. but this phenomenon always leaves me feeling a bit depressed especially with the latter situation, now i have these -ve thoughts of what if i cant get it up again or something. PLZ CAN U RECOMMEND SOMETHING , THIS CANT CONTINUE TO HAPPEN

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This sounds like 'performance anxiety'. I would suggest that you take some time to get to know a new partner before attempting to have sex. You might try sexual activities like mutual masturbation or oral sex where the need to 'penetrate' is less important. These activities also carry less STI risk. There are some useful partner exercises on the SASHA website. If this continues to occur you may consider seeing a counsellor.
Expert opinions are provided by the SA Sexual Health Association:

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: pp | 2009/04/20

Your mind is set that you will not get it up, controle your mind on what your are busy doing, go for a lot of foreplay and forget the fact that will you get it up or not, just go with flow, when its time to stick it in dont worry, you will see that it is all in the mind, just go on.

Reply to pp
Posted by: anon | 2009/04/20

Maybe you' re built for long term- relationships, maybe your body just rells you the truth?

Reply to anon

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