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Question
Posted by: ex-boyfriend | 2006/03/30

find his way back

hi Doc.

i have a problem with my ex-boyfriend, we broke up last year June, over another another girl, i court him red handed with a girl at his place, so i decided to call it quits, and he is a father of my 15 months old son, he promised me that we'll leave happily ever after, he said we'll get married and moved in together with our baby, and he go and do something like that,
after we broke up , i ended up doing things i thought i'll nerver do, things like changing men every week, drinking every day.i don't know why i'm still asking myself the same question even today,

ok then mid-septermber i meet this wonderfull guy, who thought me that there is still life out there for me, i just meed to let go and start afresh, i went out with this guy,and i'm am with him even now,
now on monday i received a phone call from the father of my son telling me that we should sit and talk about this, i must not think about my self i must also think about the baby who will need to be with his father at some stage,
i don't have a problem with him seing my baby he is also his as well, when he called me he told we must get back togethe for the sake og the baby, and the he loves me and he always did,

is he using the child as his way of getting back at me ?
becouse i'm not planning to go back to him not in this lifetime i'm very happy where i am now,

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm. He acted badly, of course ; but how sad that your response was a burst of alcoholic promiscuity, which didn't leave you any better off, did it ! Now, if you have indeed met a marvellous guy, and he knows all about the situation and is happy to be with you and accept the child ; then you may not need the biological father, whi has shown himself to be unreliable when ti really mattered. It is probably good for a child to have a father-figure, a male in the family --- it doesn't need to be the biological father at all. As Tango says, get legal advice and sort out issues of maintenance and visits. Any baby is better with one parent who is a happy parent, than with two who are miserable

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Honey | 2006/03/30

Hi there.

I agree with Tango don't go back to him just for the sake of your baby, think about your own happiness as well if he loved you as much as he say he does he wouldn't have cheated on you and he can do it again. If you are happy where you are don't let him take that away from you.

I think he is using your baby to get back with you, your baby will be happy to see his parents happy apart or not, than being together and fighting and hurting each other.

Good luck

Reply to Honey
Posted by: Tango | 2006/03/30

Its always tempting to consider going back 'for the baby" I think your last sentence says it all - never in this lifetime. Tell him no, you have moved on and are happy. Get some legal advice and work out visitation and maintainence if you have not already done so.

Reply to Tango

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