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Question
Posted by: helpless | 2008/06/03

Finances

I need advice please. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful and well mannered guy. The problem is our finances. Since we moved in together I have to contribute the most he only promise to pay stuff an then he doesn’t. I've talked to him more than x5 about this but he only agrees to fix the problem and then the next month the same happens e.g. the rent he's suppose to pay half but he doesn’t at the end I have to make a plan which are also make things for me difficult financially. His excuse are that he's ex wife and child needs the money he already give her r1000.00 a month and every time she calls and request more he pays it to her, her excuse are always the child needs stuff. I also have two kids whom I provide for. I want to make this relationship work but I cant. Is it wrong to leave someone because of this reason or am I just selfish

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

THe pair of you need to sit down for a calm and serious discussion about this. He ought to pay maintenance for his child, preferably an amount decided by a maintenance court as fair, and not a variable amount depending on what his ex asks for. And if she is working, she is required to share to costs of the child, and not expect him to pay everything. But also, its not fair for him to support her ( she may not deserve the amount he ius giving her ) but to expect YOU to support him. If he won't make a proper plan and budget with you, disclosing all his income and expenditures, that's a fair enough reason to leave him.
L is right, and the others. Don't allow yourself to be used, to the detriment of your own kids

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Our users say:
Posted by: TP | 2008/06/03

His kid his money!He is using u big time......he is financially troubled so pls dont get involved with such a person or ull be messed up!He must leave ASAP...

Reply to TP
Posted by: P | 2008/06/03

You started your posting of by referring to him as "a wonderful and well mannered guy."

Are you still getting to that part?

Reply to P
Posted by: Lisa | 2008/06/03

Listen, this man must live up to his responsibilities, I think he might be using u. Dont put up with it, you are going to suffer in the end. Good luck

Reply to Lisa
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/03

Wats up with men and responsibility in there lives? He is definately using you. get rid of him very soon. I could not agree more you are his savings account and believe me he will hold on until he runs you up dry and he will leave you and you sit with all the debt, Show him the door !!!

Reply to anon
Posted by: LOL | 2008/06/03

mayb he shud move back 2 his x wife. he sure as hell aint 2 concerned in bein in a 50% partnership with u.

Reply to LOL
Posted by: No way | 2008/06/03

I agree with u L, the guy is definately using u..How on earth does to expert to have roof under him for free...Tell him that u cant afford to pay for rent anymore so u need to find a cheaper place for urself...He is a selfish burstard..

Reply to No way
Posted by: L | 2008/06/03

Word of advice my dear sister, Dont let the heart fool u. This guy is definately using u as a savings account to meet his outstanding debts.


Please I know its hard but suggest to him that u need to move out and need a place of ur own. Let him stay by himself.

One more thing, DONT MARRY OR 100% COMMIT TO HIM UNTIL HIS FINANCES ARE SORTED.

Reply to L

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