Posted by: Dessertmoon | 2005/12/08


Hi there,

Ok so here is my thought for the day. Every morning you decide whether you want to be happy or sad, ok. Now if you choose to feed the bad wolf ** you will feel terrible. However if you feed the good one, you feel positive and think positive too.

Now my question is...How the hell do I get out of this loop? I've decided to feel happy today and appreciate small things, but I still feel down.

Please FIO, CS anyone...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Find some more small and not-so-small things to feel better about ? And sometimes it can also be a matter of taking one's emotional temperature too often. I remember one of my first weeks in Medical School, we were each given a thermometer and a booklet, and told to take our temperature every 30 minutes during all our waking hours, for days on end. We were surprised to find how much it varied, even among very ordinary and healthy folks like ourselves ; and realized that depending on exactly when our tempterature had been taken, we might think of ourselves as having a raised, or unusually low, temperature, when it was actually just part of the normal variations of the day.
Teh other image I find useful, is that of walking on a long hike through the countryside --- you may walk through the foothills of the mountain range, and the path goes sometimes upwards, sometimes down for a while. The trend is upwards till we reach the mountain itself, but at any one point in time, we might be on one of the temporary downslopes. We must look at the larger, broader picture, rather than just at the ground directly beneath our feet.

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Our users say:
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/08

You know what, no-one expects you to do it own your own, but at the same time no-one is going to do it for you either. If you dont have the will, no amount of help from anyone will make a difference. The start comes when you decide you've had enough of this kak, want to get out of the hole, and decide to accept all the help that people offer. I reckon you've decided that already. Brilliant.

You're pulling yourself out of this pit already, with the help from people who understand and care. But really, YOU are doing it.

Here's another one my Mom said to me once as a kid, and I've never forgotten it:

I cried because I had no shoes,
Until I saw a man who had no feet.

A gentle reminder when we moan about certain things in life.

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Dessertmoon | 2005/12/08

Thank you so much, maybe I should just try a little bit harder to be on the look out for the small things in life.

Actually yesterday afternoon someone came to talk to me and I've realised how fortunate I am to be able to give christmas presents, although they might be small, but this person had nothing, yes I mean nothing to buy or give because of her financial status. Sad indeed and although I had to support my parents this month (who also don't have money) I am looking of a way to at least by her kids something.

I will keep on trying and hope that you guys won't mind me getting my inspiration from you. I really need to be pulled out of this pit. I can't do it all on my own.

Thanks so much.

Reply to Dessertmoon
Posted by: figured it out | 2005/12/08

Lets put it another way - you feed the good wolf, which already is a start as you're not feeding the lousy one.

Just as you cannot decide to feel good or decide to feel bad, you can choose not to wallow in self pity etc. This will not straight away make you feel great as if its some magic mushroom. But it certainly will stop you falling into the bottomless pit.

Just take a look at yourself the past week. really, take a look. read your postings! Read your first posting, and read the succession to today. Isn't there something you ought to be noticing?

For the first time you've decided to "feel happy". For the first time you have said you still feel "down". Feeling down is one helluva improvement from what you were feeling last week, is it not?

The point I am trying to make is that it is a gradual process, starting from the bottom of the pit on the verge of suicide, a slow climb up the sides. You are already off the bottom of the pit, and you may have a few slips on your way up, but thats cool, you're already on your way and makng loads of gains. Maybe you dont see it, but we do.

Its ok if you still feel down, but I must ask you something, when last did you make an effort to appreciate small, simple, insignificant things? So just step back a minute, and look at the big picture, the big process, and in it you will see the small steps you've already taken, and are busy taking. And if you still feel down, so what! Better than what you were feeling last week.

Reply to figured it out
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/08

Here's a little picture of fun for you. Imagine my litlle puppy bouncing and hopping around a little hedghog that has come for a drink of water from the fish pond. Doesn't that bring a smile to your face? Think of little things like that.

Go to the window and look up at th sky, if it is raining, just think of all the little animals and plants who will benefit. If the sun is shining, marvel at the beauty of the world before you.

Little things.

Reply to Frusty

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