Posted by: Curious | 2008/08/28

Fighting with son

I had it out with my son the other night, about him and his fiance treating me like a boarding house keeper. He just can' t see it and somehow manages to turn it all around and blame me. I know I am right, yes they both work but so do I. The other night I came home from work at 7.30 to find them both in front of the TV, I then cooked supper, washed up, put the washing on etc etc and they did nothing except fill their plates and eat. His attitude is that I am going to be cooking for myself and my husband anyway so what is the big deal.

The result of our " discussion"  is that they are finally going to move out. I am determined not to worry about him anymore, he is an adult and if I did anything wrong in his upbringing I am sorry but there is nothing I can do about it now. We are parting on fairly friendly terms so that is ok.

Thanks for your advice, I am really going to try not to be such a doormat in future - although it might be difficult to change my ways I am really going to try. I will miss my grandchild but it really has been a burden and maybe, just maybe, when he has to do it himself my son will appreciate how much I was doing.

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Our expert says:
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SO WHAT that they both work ? So do a great majority of other couples. And that doesn't compel THEM to treat a parent as a hotel-keeper. If they both work, their income should be higher, and they should be able to afford to stay on their own and take cae of themselves. IMMEDIATELY stop cooking for them, cleaning or washing for them. Great news that they're moving out --- don't let him change his mind --- let him learn what real life is like. You did nothing wrong in his upbringing --- you didn't train him to be greedy and lazy, did you ? After they've had time to adjust ( and learn how much hard work you were doing for them ) they should recognize, apologise, and let you have access to your grandchild.

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