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Question
Posted by: insecure bride-to-be | 2007/04/03

fiance porn crazy

i know this may sound very childish but after taking the mature steps like talking to my fiance and telling him how i feel on numerous times, nothing has changed and i would like other's opinion on this. at first i didn't mind him watching porn and surfing the net as i was very confident about myself and us, but its been 4 years and after asking him so many times to turn to me instead he still refuses to stop watching porn and surf the net for naked women and sexual content. it has taken its toll on me and i have become insecure about myself, physically and emotionally about us. i feel i am unworthy of satisfying him no matter what and how i try. i have now started holding back but i feel like if i hold back longer it would give him more reason to do what he does on the other hand if i give in to him i feel used, like i'm just the physical outlet to him being turned on by what he sees.after telling him how i feel he has resorted to hiding what he does and doesn't realise that i know he still does it, he lies about it and i feel like that shows disrespect towards me and dishonesty in our relationship. i know men will be men (no offense its just something us females have to accept!), and its not like i want his eyes locked on me only, its just that i hate feeling so insecure about myself and that he won't respect the one thing that i have asked of him.please advise on how to handle this situation?!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

PLEASE check the archives of this form and read our many previous discussions of issues relating to Porn.
Do I understand it that you have been emngaged for 4 years ? I wonder wherein lies the reasons for the delay in taking the relationshiop further ? Maybe you would benefit from seeing a good local counsellor tom work on your personal issues of insecurity and lack of self-confidence, anyway. THis isn't an issue that should become something about eiehter partner "giving in" to the other.

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