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Question
Posted by: Funkydredz | 2006/10/26

Fiance driving me crazy

I have a problem with my fiance. It has got so bad that he is sleeping on the couch and hasn't spoken to me in 2 days (we live together). I don't know what happened, but things have been spiralling downhill for the past 2 years, we've been together for 4. I am 2 years older than him, and that has caused some friction as well in the sense that he says i don't respect him. We are only happy for three days out of every week. When we are happy, I wish we could stay like that for ever. He becomes so loving, but then something happens, and then he acts like a complete stranger. I also over-react sometimes and say things that I don't mean when we fight, and insult him, and then we apologise, then the cycle starts all over again. Our recent fight was about him saying that I am a bad driver. I have been driving since my early teens and have had one accident, and it was caused by rain. Him, on the other hand, has had several, and his last car had scratches all over. I bought a car last year in August and there is not even one scratch on it. As you can see, this fight was really silly, but believe me, most of our fights are even more silly. What was different with this fight is that he hit me, on the thigh with his fist. I think he could have done more damage if he was not driving. I can't take this anymore. I am going to see a psychologist next week Wednesday, but it's more for my own sanity than trying to make things work with him. I love him but I think the situation is hopeless. What I would like to hear however, is the opinion of the other forum members and the Cybershrink.
Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not persuade him to join you in seeing a relationship counsellor ( eg through FAMSA ) to esplore what is going wrong here, and whether it can be put right ? Fights that seemt o be about silly things, are generally ACTUALLY about something else. Seeing a psychologist may well help you, too, but if you want to stay together, some joint sessions would be a good idea, perhaps once you have begun to understand better whatever is really going on here

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Our users say:
Posted by: peeny | 2006/10/26

get out while you are still breathing....the arguing is ok, to some extent, but once he starts hitting you that is where you draw the line and dont listen to any excuses he gives you for hitting you and there is nothing you can do to change it. so pack your bags gilrfriend and go. life is too short to worry about silly things and petty arguments...

Reply to peeny
Posted by: What? | 2006/10/26

Seperate from him, insist he seeks professional help, if he commits and you can see from a distance, he is improving, and you are still single and willing, then and only then, humour the thought of reconcilliation. Definitely leave him for now though. It's not working and it's becoming a serious problem if he hits you. Run like the wind.

Reply to What?
Posted by: Echelle | 2006/10/26

Something like this usually starts after marriage, so, you know what to do.

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: kat | 2006/10/26

you guys are so bad for eachother what the hell are you still together for. no theropist is going to stop him from hitting you unless he goes to see them. i think you have waisted enough time on this one. why be with soemone who you dont respect and why the hell do you think you are the one that needs help because you are unhappy in your relationship how is that going to make you happy. its been bad for 2 yrs and you arent even married what exactly are you thinking. please dont marry this guy, you do realise that you just bring out the ugly in eachother coz niether of you want this but dont have the balls to say so.

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