Posted by: JOYCE | 2007/12/06


my fiance has two kids fron different mothers of his past relationship and he was never married to them,and now he has put the younger on the hs med-aid and he aslo wants to put the older one on his med-aid also,and i do not have any kids yet ,my question is, is this necessary? if so is he going to be able to put my kids in his med-aid also ?my suggession is: The mothers of these kids are working surely they can pay for kids hospitals bills...because their father is paying maintance, pls advise me if i am wrong.

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Our expert says:
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Predicting future behaviour is a tricky and inexact process, but generally the best predictor is past behaviour. A guy with two kids from 2 mothers he didn't marry, is really unlikely to become a faithful spouse. So good luck with the future of this relationship. The fact that he is apparently trying to prvide some care and medical aid for his kids is a good sign, which should be to some degree encouraging for you.
The issues you raise, including maintenance are technical and largely legal --- maybe someone at your local Maintenance COurt could advise you better on this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mom | 2007/12/07


Me thinks u are very selfish wait till u get to a situation where the father of your kids leaves u hopefully u will understand. Ur fiance is a very responsible man wish there were more of him around.

May God bless him

Reply to Mom
Posted by: What??? | 2007/12/06

JOYCE!!!! I dont know where you're from but on my planet a man that is willing to go these extents to take care of his kids is doing an excellent job!! Why are you questioning it like he's possibly doing TOO much??!!! There is no such thing!! And if those kids were living under his roof he would and should be doing the same things he is now! You're an adult and those are his kids not YOURS!! If you dont see his way of parenting fit, then there is something seriously wrong with you. If you feel like he's neglecting your needs in the process of taking care of his kids then you shouldnt be dating him to start off with!!! Oh, and yes, CS is right!! Good luck in getting him to commit to you!!

Reply to What???
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/12/06

Hi Joyce, I'm not too sure about maintenance - perhaps another forumer would know -but I imagine it should be re-adjusted in court?

Reply to Hope*
Posted by: JOYCE | 2007/12/06

hi Hope
thanks for the reply:
I dont think the moms have med-aid.How accordingly do you think the mainatance should be adjusted? because the older get everything school clothes(she is in grade 1),winter and summer clothes plus maintanace and the youger one is on the med-aid and also gets the maitanance.

Reply to JOYCE
Posted by: Hope* | 2007/12/06

If the Moms are on a medical aid then I think the kids should be on their moms, but it also depends on what the medical aid covers, it could be that his medical aid has more to offer? If the moms are not on a medical then I think its only right that he should want them on his medical - and good for him for wanting to take care of his kids. Not sure about maintenance - perhaps it can be adjusted accordingly?

Reply to Hope*

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