Our expert says:
Clearly, one man's fetish is another man's joke --- and indeed it is revealing and relevant that many people find it hard to believe that anyone would be aroused by some of the scraps that arouse a fetishist, and find it funny if they don't find it offensive.
While psychiatry and psychology have tried to become less judgemental in recent decades, it is practical to help someone who is uncomfortable about some of their sexual interests and behaviours, and who wants to diminish some and encourage others, to make the sort of shift you seem to be asking for.
Actually, as you already know from your web-searches, and maybe our other readers don't, such interests are not especially rare, and some spouses are indeed accepting of it. And it sounds like a degree of cross-dressing that is within a broadly heterosexual frame of mind.
Part of the problem is that, leaving aside judgemental responses ( like That's sick! or That's Wrong!) such fetishes substitute an excessive attention to arousal by a small part of sexuality, for a proper involvement in a relationship with the whole other person, and thus diminish your potential for a fully satisfying relationship of the usual sort.
It would be well worth your while to see a psychiatrist or psychologist who offers sex therapy, to assess the degree of these problems for you, and to work with you on decreasing the allure for the panties and porno pix, and increasing your interest in that real live woman who cares for you.
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