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Question
Posted by: pantyman | 2003/12/03

Fetish/porn

hi doc,

I have 2 major problems. I have a serious fetish for ladies underwear, I wear it whenever I can. my wife knows about it, and although she does not really agree with it, she is ok with it.
I wouldlike to know if there is any way to "turn it off" ie, get rid of this facination I have.

secondly, I am addicted to watching porn. It does not matter what type of porn, straight, gay, you name it, I will watch it. I find this is disrupting my days and nights, I try and watch every second I can, I find myself searching the net everytime my wife is not around. Is there any way to "turn off" this obsession??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

pantyman,
Clearly, one man's fetish is another man's joke --- and indeed it is revealing and relevant that many people find it hard to believe that anyone would be aroused by some of the scraps that arouse a fetishist, and find it funny if they don't find it offensive.
While psychiatry and psychology have tried to become less judgemental in recent decades, it is practical to help someone who is uncomfortable about some of their sexual interests and behaviours, and who wants to diminish some and encourage others, to make the sort of shift you seem to be asking for.
Actually, as you already know from your web-searches, and maybe our other readers don't, such interests are not especially rare, and some spouses are indeed accepting of it. And it sounds like a degree of cross-dressing that is within a broadly heterosexual frame of mind.
Part of the problem is that, leaving aside judgemental responses ( like That's sick! or That's Wrong!) such fetishes substitute an excessive attention to arousal by a small part of sexuality, for a proper involvement in a relationship with the whole other person, and thus diminish your potential for a fully satisfying relationship of the usual sort.
It would be well worth your while to see a psychiatrist or psychologist who offers sex therapy, to assess the degree of these problems for you, and to work with you on decreasing the allure for the panties and porno pix, and increasing your interest in that real live woman who cares for you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sally | 2003/12/08

My father always said:

"Keep yourself busy, then you don't have time to think of nonsense"

Get yourself a second job or hobbie.

Reply to Sally
Posted by: Marty | 2003/12/03

gee whiz man! all you have to do is bloody control yourself. I mean i can understand the craving foir a cig or drink but actal taking a panty and putting it on, hey man, youre one crazy guy. porn, ineresting for a while but boring layter and anyway how do you find time to sit and watchit.

get a life, man.

Reply to Marty
Posted by: Woman | 2003/12/03

I cannot believe some people on this site are making fun of this issue. Lot of sicko's apparently reading this site too.

I think u realize yourself that you have a problem, otherwise u would not be posting this msg. Any behaviour, as far as I know, that interferes with your daily life, is a problem - wether it's porn, gambling whatever. Maybe u 2, as a couple need to go for counselling. Trying to control these urges are not going to cure them.

Pse, take your wife, go see someone 'bout this. You are surely not alone suffering from this - why else would the porn industry be doing so well

Good luck.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: pantyman | 2003/12/03

Thanks doc, I really appreciate your inciteful answer.

I am not sure I can go and speak to someone about this, its not as easy as it is to post a message on this site. I was hoping for some self help type answer but I don't think there is one.

I will try and control these urges as I have done succesfully previously, and hopefully over time, they will no longer be there??

thanks again

Reply to pantyman
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/03

The person who posted the second Mona message, grow up, we've been through the imposter thing before, you are too late, get a life.

Reply to Mona
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/03

Sorry l cannot have a photo but which site can l visit to get a similar one? As wearing your wifes undies makes you horny would her wearing your y-fronts have the same affect on her? You say you want to be more like her why not try wearing one of her complete outfits?

Reply to Mona
Posted by: pantyman | 2003/12/03

guys/girls , please grow up,

this is a serious problem in my life, and I am not about to send out any photos. Trust me there are more than enough of this type of photo floating around the net.

My problem is that this behavious is putting a strain on our relationship. I am constanlty ready for "it" and thinking about it, but my wife is'nt. The fetish and addition worsen this as it makes me more horny, and that is what I am trying to avoid. I feel if I can stop both the fetish, and addiction, smehow we can get back to a more normal intimate relationship?

I know our porblem is more of a sexual compatibility, what I am trying to do is to change to be more like her ito libido, etc. etc.

Reply to pantyman
Posted by: Panty woman | 2003/12/03

I do not want a photograph of you but l think Damelin offers courses on time management. Personally l think any man who wears ladies knickers is mentally ill ,maybe you should attend some counseling along with your wife who does sound strange to accept your behaviour. This is my personal view and l wonder what the shrinks take is on this.Good luck.

Reply to Panty woman
Posted by: Pure.Well almost | 2003/12/03

Your wife does not seem to condone your wierd dress sense and l believe with her liberal views she would accept porn as part of your life. Your problem then becomes one of time management so as not to disrupt your days and nights. Does your local education centre not run courses on time management? Maybe others can help with specific courses and details. Could l also have a piccie of you, preferably in something black?

Reply to Pure.Well almost
Posted by: OH DEAR OH DEAR | 2003/12/03

IF YOUR WIFE DOES NOT MIND YOU WEARING WOMENS UNDERWEAR WHY WOULD SHE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU WATCHING PORN?????????? COULD I ALSO HAVE A PHOTO OF YOURSELF IN LADIES UNDERWEAR?

Reply to OH DEAR OH DEAR
Posted by: Mona | 2003/12/03

Please can you send me a photo of yourself in ladies underwear...???

Reply to Mona

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