Posted by: Sunshine 1 | 2005/07/20

Feelings that wont go away

Hi all,
let me begin by saying i fell pregnant at a very young age,i was writing my final matric exams(PS i did pass which shocked the hell out of me). i hid the pregnancy for the first 7 months from everyone as i was a bit fat before so me picking up weight wasnt really an issue. the day my mother found out she ws devistated and so was my father....there little girl messed up big time. anyways they accepted it and supported me through it but i was send away to durbs to have the baby so that nobody in the family would know. i had the baby and she was the most gorgeous little angel.when we got back i had to play hide and seek for the first month until they decided to tell the family.everyone accepted it and now cant get enough of my little angel and all love her like crazy. 3 months later we got married cos my husband said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us. i am now married for 3.1/2 years and my pricess is almost 4, but those hurt feelings are still there.........and what really pisses me off is when people mention it or talk about how i apparently hid it so well. i now feel like a dont want to have anymore children and yet my husband really wants to have another someday. why am i feeling this way?....i really feel serious about it where it goes to a point where i tolf him i want to go for sterilization. i am currently on the pill but am even scared of still falling preggies that i make him use a condom most of the time also..........i know he doesnt like it much but he does it because it makes me happy. is it fear of some sort? you think ill regret it later if i go for the sterelization?....i am only 21 and have many more years to still think of having another.why do i feel like this?

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Our expert says:
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Hello Sunshine 1,
Its nice to hear how well your parents and later the whole family, were understanding and accepting of your predicament. Why do you listen to any gossip or hurtful ( often not necessarily meant to be hurtful ) comments from ignorant other people ? Don't give them that sort of power over you. Don't think of sterlization at this stage. Think very carefully, perhaps with the help of a counsellor, over why you feel so reluctant to have a second child with the husband who loves you, and to be a companion for the first child you love so much. Im sure that if you rush into a sterilization that you will regret it, especially at such a young age. Think seriously about some counselling, to sort out all these feelings and confusions

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: anonia | 2005/07/20

dont worrry too much, i understand ur situation but relax cos u are married.

with me it was sad cos i (now 28) conceived out of wedlock and later decided not to marry the guy because of some problems.

im not scared of falling pregnant now cos i dont have a boyfriend anymore, im not sleeping around and i pray that God help me not to repeat that mistake again.

talk to your hubby about your fears and if possible go for couselling. im not sure if its wise to sterilize now---talk to the specialist and find out.

all the best dear

Reply to anonia

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