Posted by: Lonely | 2008/12/01

feelings of inadequacy

I am 34, have a great husband and 3 wonderful children. I am a professional and have a good job, but I constantly feel inadequate. I am very unhappy at work due to several colleagues who seem to enjoy making my life miserable.

I am on Zoloft for depression and have seen a psychologist (altho'  have stopped now). I am tired of allowing people to upset, hurt and disappoint me. I over analyse the way people react to me and then spend the rest of the day agonising over it. I just want to be happy cos I have so much, but my mood depends on other people' s approval, how they relate to me etc. Is there a way I can block out the people who upset me and concentrate on those who genuinely care for me like my family as I inevitably take out my frustration on them.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

As your story exemplifies, many outstanding, capable and pleasant people feel inadequate --- the feelings are not rational or related to the actual truth of the situatiomn, but spring from inner feelings of low self-esteem arising from earlier life experiences. CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) is ideal for working on this and discovering and enjoying your own very real worth. Set yourself free from dependency on other people's approval and permission.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Lonely | 2008/12/04

Dear Just me. I know what you mean. I am going for a year -end function now, but dreading it cos I feel that I have no friends. I also spin almost every day which really helps with energy and feel good hormones. I wish I could just concentrate on the people who care about me and vice versa rather than colleagues etc. who mean nothing to me.

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Posted by: Just Me | 2008/12/03

I know it is hard, I have my good days and then my bad days. my Self esteem is so bad that i hate going to parties and clubs. I feel like Im so out of it compared to all the other woman. It is hard, but when you actually talk to others you actually find out that we are all the same, we all have issues and things. I really can relate to you in a big way, I' ve started jogging in the wee hours of the morning(cause I don t want anyone to see me) but it gives me a bit of a confidence boost and more energy for the day. It may help you?

Reply to Just Me
Posted by: lonely | 2008/12/02

Thanks Just me, but it seems as if it' s a constant battle.

Reply to lonely
Posted by: Just me | 2008/12/01

Hi Lonely,
Just so you know you are not the only one - I feel the same sometimes. I read motivational books and they help me. Think you are great and you will portray yourself as that and that is how others will see you. It' s hard at first, but remember everyone feels this way at some point not just you. Good luck!

Reply to Just me
Posted by: Lonely | 2008/12/01

Thank you very much CS

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