Posted by: anon | 2008/10/16

feeling shit

i slept with my brother inlaw this morning, and it was great, but cant shake off the feelling of feeling bad, and its been an ongoing thing, and i have a problem of not being able to say no, to scared of the rejection i keep telling myself that i will be strong next time he asks, me, but just keep falling in the same trap over and over.

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Our expert says:
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You do NOT have a problem of not being ABLE to say no --- you chose NOT to say no, and COULD have said no --- and SHOULD have said no, and you know that. Why should it matter if he rejected you ? And why would he reject you for not acting like a slut and cheating on your spouse ? By sleeping with you he shows no respect for you whatever. See a counsellor to work on your low self-esteem, and to become confident enough to say No proudly, rather than Yes ashamedly. Don't reject the comments of other readers which remind you of what most other people will think of you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Micky | 2008/10/17

anon, what you did was sooo wrong in each and every way, but yet you STILL chose to do it? seek help urgently cos this behaviour is disgusting! Geez...don' t people like you EVER think of consequences..???

Reply to Micky
Posted by: Anon #3 | 2008/10/17

I agree with Anon #4!!!

That ' what evah'  attitude of you Anon is why you are considered to be a cheap slut. That is probably also the attitude you had when sleeping with your BIL. You say you feel guilty, you come here and post your so called guilt on a forum where people have strong moral values and you ' what evah'  when we give our opinions.

Reply to Anon #3
Posted by: anon#4 | 2008/10/17

I agree, how do you willfully sleep with someone, feel guilty, promise yourself, " will not do it again"  and do it again, knowing how it felt afterwards (the guilt)..... you are in charge of your actions and decisions, you can control who you sleep with, and if the fear of rejection is driving you to do it, let the fear of losing your loved ones drive you NOT to do it!!!!!!

Reply to anon#4
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/17

ja ja what evah

Reply to anon
Posted by: Anon #3 | 2008/10/17

You should feel shit, you cheap slut!!!!! Have you no respect for marriage!!! If he wants to fool around, let him, keep yourself out of it. I hope this thing comes out and you fry!!

Reply to Anon #3
Posted by: Lola | 2008/10/16

Welcome back skanky....looks like you' ve sealed the deal with your brother inlaw. You must feel so accomplished....

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Anon#2 | 2008/10/16

Your feelings are reasonable - you would be crazy if you weren' t feeling very bad.

Hopefully you will remember how this feels and send this clown packing if he even SUGGESTS this again. It' s not only that he has no respect for you (putting you in this awful situation), but he is harming your blood family.

Reply to Anon#2
Posted by: smile | 2008/10/16

If you dont want our honest opinion,dont post.
Iam going to tell exactly who you are.
1. You are weak
2.Learn to respect your sister' s husby
3. Learn to say no
4.Have respect for your body
5.Find your own man
6.Have a heart
7.Have a life
8.Be ashamed because its people like you who brake happy families.

SIS U WUNAMAHLONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to smile
Posted by: manda | 2008/10/16

If I was u i would come clean and tell the parties that need 2 know. It will be difficult but at least u will be able 2 move on and in some time u will be forgiven... As for your brother in law? does he want 2 stop as well?

Reply to manda
Posted by: Haibo | 2008/10/16

Where is ur sister when ur busy sleeping with her husband?How do u sleep at night knowing that u betray the very person so close to ur heart?U are a cheap skirt and belongs in hell.

I hope ur sister finds out soon.

Reply to Haibo
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/16

maybe you should read again T.

Reply to anon
Posted by: T | 2008/10/16

So why post????????? Did you not expect to get an answer!!

Reply to T
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/16

anon, my reply was to me, as i really am finding it difficult to deal with this, and hearing how cheap i am is really not gonna help me, to get out of this, and as for the other folks that gave me possitive feedback thankyou very much

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/16

i did not ask u what u think, and quite frankly dont care what you think.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Lucy | 2008/10/16

eish! this is a going to be a very difficult one for you..and the rest of the pple involved, you need to try and think very clearly with your HEAD &  look ahead at the repercusions. You can' t go on knowing you are betraying your sister... it might be worth seeing a psychologiest if you can' t nip it in the bud.
all the best

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/16

you wont be able to say no because it is feeding your need for acceptance so even if its wrong its comforting

either way its a catch 22 situation because if he stops you will feel lonely and rejected

you need counselling .... he is just fueling a deep routed need for you to feel needed. So he is an abuser because he recognises your weakness and uses it for his own fulfillment.

He disrespects you as much as he disrespects himself

He needs a wake up call, a lesson .... only when he learns this he will stop

Reply to SR
Posted by: Me | 2008/10/16

Why did you do that?. I think you are sooo cheap,

Reply to Me

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