Posted by: candon | 2009/01/28

Feeling sad with new baby

Hi there,
I' m feeling totally overwhelmed having had a baby recently. She' s nearly 4 weeks old.
I' ve read alot about PND and i do have some symptoms. My gynae perscribed Espiride 50mg to help with my mood. I' ve had thoughts of suicide because i feel i just cannot cope and i feel trapped and sad which then makes me feel guilty.
I often feel that i' ve made a mistake and that motherhood is not for me. I should be happy but i feel totally empty and desperate instead.
What should i do?

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Our expert says:
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Esperide is remarkably popular with non-psychiatric docs, but is NOT an effective antidepresant if one is truly depressed, as you may well be. Try to arrange to see a good local psychiatrist as soon as possible, as this condition is miserable but responds really well to proper treatment with a real antidepressant, and some counselling is also usually a good idea. I am confident that with the right help, which you really deserve, you will be able to cope, and will soon realize you have the potential to be an excellent mother. MEanwhile, are there any friends or family members who could pop in and maybe help you a little with some of the new tasks of caring for the child ?
And keep in touch with us on the forum, so we know of your progress. Lifeline is also available if you need to talk to someone directly before seeing a shrink

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: H | 2009/01/29

Hi there

I' m so sorry to hear that you' re feeling so overwhelmed with your new little one. My son is now 4months old and I know exaclty how you feel, but I promise after the first 6 weeks it gets so much easier. Don' t feel guilty about it - so many woman feel like that... You' ve been thru a lot being pregnant, giving birth and now you can' t even have a warm cup of coffee...

On tv and in books etc they show you having this baby and instantly falling in love, it doesn' t happen like that, the first 4 weeks are hard, but it does get better. I remember lying in bed at night thinking if I get up REALLY quietly I can pack a bag and run away from all of this... its so overwhelming because you have a tiny little baby that is totally dependant on you and you' re body. life doesnt feel like yours but in hang in there cos when they get to about 6 weeks you' re going to get the most amazing smile and everything will be worth it

I never went on medication, not that there is anything wrong with it , I just never went to get it, what worked for me is taking one day at a time, and knowing that everyday it will get better. You had a part in creating an amazing miracle and your body has been thru so much, see if you can get someone to look after baba for a few hours, go and have a nice long relaxing bath, and a good sleep... I got all the help I could, don' t be scared to ask your partner for help. I use to bath my son, and have him fed and made a few bottles or expressed some milk and then when dad got home, i' d ask him to look after baby for 2 hours and I would either use that to go have a quick coffee with friends, or bath or sleep - those two hours are one of the things that kept me sane. Once your little one is over a month old you can start taking them out, if healthy etc, go have a cup of coffee somewhere or take them for a walk, they love looking at the trees and all the stuff outside.

It does get easier from 6 weeks so you' re nearly there! Your baby is going to reward you with a huge smile that is just going to melt your heart.

Reply to H

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