Our expert says:
Sorry to hear of the sad aspects of your life so far, including a selfish and cruel, abusive father. But, from your desiption, it sounds as though he may indeed have begun to change, perhaps when he realized how good you had been to him, and that there was nobody else who had remain available for him. But then as soon as he found a new young woman foolish enough to become his partner, he stopped appreciating you and moved away again, emotionally.
Over-all, it sounds as though you are, very understandably, expecting far more from him than he can provide, more than he has provided for anyone else, at any time in his life. SO long as you keep looking to him for what he can't do, and, apparently, not developing your life in the direction of forming relationships with other people who COULD provide the affection and support you well deserve, you will automatically be disappointed.
It is not in the least that YOU are not good enough ( though I see this is how you feel ) but that HE is not good enough, never was and never will be. Its as though you are very fond of music, and expect a fish to sing. It won't, but there are some other really good singers around.
See a counsellor, if possible to work towards forming more realistic expectations. Maybe the lack of any good close family has made you all the more "big on family " - and you can form your own family of friends and relationships, but you won't get what you dream of, from him. He probably never had it himself, and never understood it, and so never understood what was bothering you. Stop giving him so much power over you, and take that power back to yourself
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