Posted by: Princess | 2005/07/19

Feeling kinda blu

hey doc
how u doing? 2day i feel like someone hit me hard in the chest....feel so down - haven't felt this way since the thing that happened with alex - the seizure and drug thing.
feel so alone.....guess should be used to that feeling - have been avoiding getting involved for a while, & i know u said i should give it a break....but really feel ready to love and be loved and share things with someone special. Have bn thru sum hectic sh**, meet strange people....damn - just finding out - I spent nearly 2 years loving a man, I called my angel, who's actually turned out to be a cheap imatation of Ali G!!!
2 wks ago, a guy wanted to get serious - but he's like 9 yrs younger than me?????????? Has a responsible job,home, toys, a process engineer.....but does he have the life experience i've had????
met another guy, whom i think is very very nice....but doubt if anything will happen - we did the coffee thing - he told me his life story - he broke up with a girl, after 3 yrs of much conflict, only to discover a week later that she's pregnant. So, now he's planning to do the whole give his child 2 happy homes instead of one unhappy one....but i know she wont leave him be....she's really young, like 23 & theres no way she'll do this on her own.
Crap.....what the hell, is love anyway???? it goes out the window, and u're lied to. so what am i searching for? got to work, will carry on with sum more thoughts just now....
the sun is shining 2day....but its dark in my world.....
u take later

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Princess,
maybe it's not so much that you need to get used to being alone, but to feeling comfortable and confident on your own. And the sun will shine again, in your world, and not such a cold world, either. It's a shame when people turn out to be less than we thought them to be, but we're always better off for discovering the truth rather than living with a flimsy fantasy. I hope you each find what you're looking for.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Princess | 2005/07/19

i know.

u sound like u on a path 2 self destruction these days tho.....strange, u'd think u wld have learnt a lesson from me.
all i can say is stop doing it to yourself cos u only realise wot u've done once u've lost everything that ever meant anything to u.

Good luck.

Reply to Princess
Posted by: Dude | 2005/07/19

yea the old man was into control... if alex doesn't stop the drugs eez gonna ave those seizures ... i neva judged u, just had to keep my distance cause of ur hurtful path of self distruction...

Reply to Dude
Posted by: Princess | 2005/07/19

thanks. am sure i will find sumone "real'.......not someone who pretends to be what i need them 2 b. If be it.
My father & i dont dont know how his heart is. alex...we're very close....he's compassionate,kind,forgiving,never judges anyone and....on drugs. my pain......i'll live with it.
u're right - pity i ran away....unfortunately tho, we cant live in regret. I learnt a lesson - a hard one....but who doesnt.
hope u happy in all u do. bye

Reply to Princess
Posted by: Dude | 2005/07/19


I hope u find someone u can b with, someone that cares 4 u, that u can b in love with and let go of all the insecurities...

am so happy 2 hear that u have a job, hope that frees u of ur over protective dad and u find solitude and self worth in every thing u do and not just in being working ...

u were always special and in some respects will always b tucked away in a corner of my heart, its probably beta that u think I'm some lame azz so believe it, everything u eva felt was just a lie ...

the times we were together were distructive and in many ways u neva agreed with me anyway ... its true bout me not smokin so much anymore and I have moved on a few times ... its not that the others are not willing and lookin for somethin that exists in our minds is pointless when society offers y and we hunting x ....

hope alex is doin beta and ur dads heart is holding up ...

good luck with finding ur man, remember soul mates are but a cheap cop our society makes for avoidance of any real effort in a relationship ... i hope that u find someone u wont run away from ... u were open when in love, pitty u ran away fearin bein broken ...


Reply to Dude
Posted by: Princess | 2005/07/19

Hi Lola,

thks 4 the encouragement....u make a lot of sense.....& the few things u wrote, kinda makes me feel like u know what and who i'm talking bout. even if u dont, doesnt matter, u just made me feel like i'm not alone.....& that in itself is very comforting.

Reply to Princess
Posted by: Lola | 2005/07/19

Hey Princess,

We all feel a little blue at times, but remember tomorrow is another day filled with its own surprises, you never know whats up ahead.

At least you can now see Ali G for what he is and not your idealised picture you had. The right guy is out there belive me, and he will find you when you least expect it.

You have been through a lot lately, but at least you have learned and grown from it, unlike some people who continue to bang their heads over and over. You will get there, just keep your chin up.

Reply to Lola
Posted by: Summer | 2005/07/19

Thanks Mindful - I also get very envious of other woman and I know its 'cos i dont have what they have. This guy and I were so right for each other - cannot believe he was too scared to take a chance. And i wonder is this the way life's meant to be???

Reply to Summer
Posted by: Mindful | 2005/07/19

Hey Princess and Summer,

Thinking of you guys! I was feeling the same way last week. I went to visit a friend, and she had a card on her desk saying "To the one I love" and I could see her boyfriend had started with My darling babe...and my heart ached with envy, I actually wanted to start crying at how lucky some people are, and then there are those of us that just haven't met the right people yet, and the wait seems forever. I think it's ok to feel blue, just be careful that you don't get so caught up in it that you're missing out on what might be in front of you and noticed you if you were smiling!

Love, M

Reply to Mindful
Posted by: Summer | 2005/07/19

well Princess my heart is so sore today. Wish i could turn back time - how I wish i could. Life was so uncomplicated back then. Loneliness, emptiness. I still havent found what im looking for. Our sadness will pass ........... just a matter of time. Check you later.

Reply to Summer
Posted by: Princess | 2005/07/19

Thks Summer
U keep looking up 2. Guess 2moro will be better....usually is.....just lotsa hurt 2day.....
By the way.....he aint worthy of u...

Reply to Princess
Posted by: Summer | 2005/07/19

Howzit Princess. What you doing? Im just chilling. Just come out of a very short relationship with a guy 9 yrs younger than me. Saw him for the last time yesterday and we chatted. Im gonna miss him bad - he just wasn't that into me to take a chance on happiness. my heart is hurting. keep your chin up and remember one day at a time.

Reply to Summer

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