Posted by: Kerry | 2009/07/08

Feel like giving up on sex...

I am so depressed at the moment....
My sex life sucks!
My bf suffers from PE. I always give him special attention with oral sex to help him last longer, yet he doesn' t care to return the " favor" .
Sex is over when he blows his load, and he is seldom the one who wants sex.
Last night I initiated it, only to be blown off, and told that we can rather do it tomorrow night (being tonight).
To be honest, I already know now that I don' t want sex tonight! I feel unsatisfied and almost resentful... so I can' t see why I should fit into his schedule of when sex is acceptable.

Am I being selfish regarding he suffers from PE? Will we ever have longer sex? He blows his load after about 5 minutes of stopping and starting... and he doesn' t stay hard throughout.

This makes me feel very unsexy...


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The emotional frustrations and dissatisfaction that you describe is often experienced by the partners with Premature Ejaculation. There are several techniques, such as the stop start, kegel -exercises for men; and different pelvic movement techniques that could assist in dealing with this. However by the sound of it, there are strong emotional non-committal and non-constructive communication that is part of the relationship interaction, which needs to be addressed. The reality is that it takes two to tango and both partners need to know how to behave and what is expected to make it a win-win for both. It is recommended that you seek the assistance from a professional psychologist that works specifically with sexual concerns. Together you can address this with success if both are willing to work equally hard.

You are welcome to contact our helpline – 0860 100 262 where we could put you in touch with a professional as close as possible to you. For interesting reading you could visit our website

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: baby | 2009/07/08

as for kerry you are one of those poeple dont no what love is,we cant just move from one relationship to the other we have to respect our selves.aid' s and std' s will kill as,plz try to keep safe

Reply to baby
Posted by: baby | 2009/07/08

plz give a poor guy a chance ,maybe he should visit man ' s clinick

Reply to baby
Posted by: Lady man | 2009/07/08

To everyone who always complain about not receiving enough sex from their partner. My question is, HOW DO YOU TREAD YOUR PARTNER EVERY DAY. DO YOU MAKE THEM FEEL SPECIAL OR WHAT. OR IS IT ONLY ME AND NOT YOU. OR IS IT WHAT YOU WANT AND NOT WHAT THEY WANT OR NEED.


Reply to Lady man
Posted by: Dece | 2009/07/08

Hi Kerry, I feel for you. With me its the other way around. My wife is constantly frigid and I am the one always initiating sex. Then she will let me know whether it is going to happen or not. If she doesn' t feel like it, well, that' s my problem. I makes me so angry that I must always be the one being turned down, like there is something wrong with me, that she only finds occasionally tolerable enough to have sex with me. Good luck to you.

Reply to Dece
Posted by: Kerry | 2009/07/08

Hi H... What is keeping me with him you ask.
He is the most amazing guy in every other way other than in our sex life.
He treats me with respect, loves me, and I know that we are going to get married... BUT... I am concrened that our sex life will never be good...
I try! I really, really do... I feel so depressed right now!

Reply to Kerry
Posted by: H | 2009/07/08

So pray tell, what is keeping you with him?

Reply to H
Posted by: Scott | 2009/07/08

Hey Kez,

Sorry about the sex life, I' m one of those who wants and needs a lot of it. I do everything for my gf. Spend loads of time giving her oral, massaging her, etc. Sometimes I go down on her just for her own pleasure and without expecting anything, yet she has a VERY low libido, so I' m pretty stumped.
Regarding your bf, have you ever checked his testosterone level? It could also have something to do his his general health (cardiovascular system and general fitness &  health).
Get him to eat very well and hit the gym. I' m always eating healthy and training and it helps me. There is nothing better than having a great body either so he' s in a win / win. With the PE, maybe get him to put a condom on (a thick one too), this will take away some of the sensitivity from him and help him last longer, compounded with a greater elevation of natural testosterone and a great cardiovascular system, he should be as hard as a rock.
Thats the physical side of it, the psycological side is passion, want and desire. If he doesn' t work on it, then he' s going to be nothing more than a flaccid disappointment.
Hope it helps, let me know....

Reply to Scott

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