Posted by: NuNu Byts | 2008/11/18

Fear of Rejection or just selfish

I have a few issues that new to be sorted out ,for one i think that i dont handle rejection to well i always seem to get it from family ,friends and even lover.I think that i cant handle it but not quite sure why.I always fall in &  out of love at high speed and seem to give to much and expect the same in return .am i just fearful of never being loved or just selfish and want things my way sometimes i just sit and cry for no reason but still cant find anything to comfort the pain i feel.When i a realtionship i always try to please my better half no matter what the cost,is this the problem as it always ends up hurting me ,when i dont get the same or remotely similar affection i give to others .Even in the work place i crave that special notice or attention from others .Sometimes i say to myself just live your life to the best of your ability but just cant seem to listen or take my own advise .am i losing my mind or just .........................

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Our expert says:
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Well, any of us who Enjoy rejection really do need to see a counsellor ! So its always unwelcome ; an issue can be whether there is anything you are doing ( which you could of course learn to change ) which causes people to act towards you in na rejecting manner ; and also wheether perhaps you have gloomy expectations of rejection, which can lead you to see and feel rejection even when its not really there and not intended by others.
It sounds as though you're a bit hasty in relationships, with perhaps rather unrealistic expectations, of yourself and of the other person. We can't get everything our way, but if NOTHING about it is our way, then its not a relationship at all. Sounds like low self-esteem could be a significant part of the puzzle.
Counselling, especially of the Cognitive-Bejhaviour Therapy ( CBT ) format, could help a lot

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