Posted by: Janine | 2008/07/07

Fathers Rights

Can anyone please tell me what will be a fathers rights if he and the mother of the children was not married,they had a fight and the mother always scratches and bites the dad and unfortunately he did hit her back once so she went to the well fare. I took the mom and the kids to stay with me and the father is not allowed to see them although they cry for him allot and it seems that they don't want anything to do with their mom. They don't want her to bath,feed or dress them.

The kids are not well disciplined, and speak very badly to their mom.They are still very small age 4&6 and they had a very difficult life so far and will getting counciling from tomorrow.

I really would appreciate any response in this regard. I personally think they would be better off with their dad then with the mother. But the people at well fare don't really want to discuss this option with me as the father and I are family and they think I am taking sides with him. And all I want to do is act in the best interest of the kids I wanted to take them with out the mom but they can not open up child court on speculation that is why I offered for them to come and stay with me.

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Our expert says:
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You seem to be describing a couple who are mutually abusive. She is not entitled to bite scratch or otherwise hurt him, and then complain if he retailates. I agrow so weary of always having to say the same thing --- ALL that matters in this sort of situation is what is best for the children. If they love their father and he them, then he must be allowed access to them. For the mother to try to eny him acess to his children so as to get back at him, is abusive in itself.
And it sounds like a case where the issue should be explored by the wlefare auhorities ( not by naive social workers who accept only what the mother says ) and then to have a court hear from both of them and ( if the kids are old enough )mfrom the kids too, and decide what is best for the children. The people at welfare are REQUIRED to listen to all sides, and they are not entitled to be prejudiced and to only listen to or believe the mother's version of events.
And I agree with Maria --- post to the divorce forum, and check there --- the father needs legal advice to protect his rights and those of the children, and no only assume that the mother must always get what she wants

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jane | 2008/07/08

Under the new law an unmarried father will have the same rights as a divorced father. Unless she can prove that he is an unfit father she cannot deny him the right to see the children. As far as I know it has to have been really bad to prove him an unfit father and even then he will get "supervised" visitation rights. Please go and see the family advocate, it is free and they will advise and help you. You should be able to find them in the phone book but Welfare will also have their number.
Those children need their father.

Reply to Jane
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/07

She does not have the right to deny the father access, unless she has a court order. Post to the divorce support forum, there is an unmarried dad called FIO who posts there, he will be able to explain the legal aspects to you. If your friend can afford a good family lawyer, that is the way to go.

Reply to Maria

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