Our expert says:
When he says it wasn't his choice to have a baby, that's probably true --- but is he sugesting that it WAS your choice ? Men do somtimes suspect that they were somehow trapped into a pregnancy, forgetting how essential their full cooperation is, to achieve pregnancy ! But I don't think we can give you the answer you're seeking ( though I hope some of our other readers try to do so ! ) --- is there really any substitute for sitting down wiih your bf, and talking this through ? Maybe he finds it hard to express and show his feelings, some folks, especially men, do. But he can at least tell you that, and discuss how he can express himself as well as he is able to. Maybe he feels awkward with babies ( many men do ) --- they just don't know what to do with them, what so say to them, and feel scared they'll drop them and do some awful damage. If that's the case, then you can help him feel more confident and competent to play with the child. The fact of a baby presents a need for him to re-order and re-think his life plans, as these now have to take into account the baby, and some men find that really hard to do. But if that's the case, he can see a counsellor, or an older male relative, and talk this through. Whatever it is, maybe even he doesn't consciously know why, but it's only in discussion you two can find out, understand it, and do something constructive about it.
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