Posted by: D | 2009/09/19

Father hates boyfriend

My father just told me that i have a baby by the wrong man. he doesn' t like him and says that i deserve the best. the problem with this is that i am a new mother and hearing things like this really hurts me. what does he expect me to do, put a stamp on the child and " return to sender' ? there is nothing i can do to change the paternity of my child and there really is nothing that i can do to change my dad' s mind about this man.

i constantly feel trapped between my family and the man in my life. he doesn' t come from a rich family like they would like and he doesn' t have a good job like i do. What should i do? i am constantly listening to the hate speech about him and i am constantly on the verge of tears. i look at my child and i wonder if it wouldn' t have been easier if i didn' t choose to have her. i don' t regret my decision, but the people around me make me wish that things were a bit different. i had stopped smoking, but now, i' m back at it and it really hurts me. what must i do?

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Our expert says:
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I find this hard to understand. You chose to have a baby by a man you didn't marry, who your father dislikes, and you don't mention how you felt or feel. As the baby must have taken the usual 9 months to arrive, why did your father apparently wait until now to tell you he dislikes the father ? Surel what matters above all, is the baby, who deserves love and care whoever the father might be.
If there are serious problems about the father's behaviour and personality, that could be serious. If i's simply that your family had inflated ideas about expecting you to marry someone very rich, for their benefit, then that was their dream, not yours. Remind your family that their hate speech is unacceptable to you, and only harms the child.

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