Posted by: visitor | 2008/07/14

family member a drug addict

plse can any readers give advice if they have been in the same situation. My brother in law is about to be a father (he has an adult son fm another relationship that he never looked after) he is a drug addict plain and simple. although he works he continually borrows money fm the family for food and petrol. I am against this as i feel if we assist with these necessities then he has available money for drugs. my inlaws are so soft with him - they say at least he is working, at least he pays the money back. I am so sick of it. he is almost 47 and is like a juvenile deliquent. the entire family has had to kit out for the coming baby - he hasnt bought one thing!!!! how should we handle things - nobody will confront him at all and tell him we know he is on drugs and lies about why he needs money etc. he drinks along with the drugs which makes things worse. he has demolished his home (a cottage on my inlaws property) and sold all the furniture - how can a baby be bought into this (the mother is also useless)
i have told them about tough love but i am also a mother and know its there son and theres a baby on the way. he is disrupting lives and killing them with his problems. my father in law is 78 - he shouldnt have to deal with this

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Our expert says:
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Some people with broadly antisocial personalities tend to grow up a bit in their 40's, some don't. The man you describe sounds like a prospectively awful father, and whoever he has got pregnancy ought to have thopught of that before allowing him to have the chance to impregnate her. The situation sounds very far from satisfactory, but its not clear how you could usefully intervene

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2008/07/14

Contact Tough supporting him and giving him money etc he uses on the habit and alcohol the family are enabling him.

I posted a reply on Substance Abuse

Reply to anon
Posted by: Concerned mother | 2008/07/14

You could post this on the substance abuse site for more replies. There is a programme on tv, channel 125 which is on every nite, Monday to Friday from 21h00, called Intervention, which could help you with this problem. The wife should also get involved in the intervention so that he can get treament as it sounds as if he needs to go to rehab. The problem is that addicts who are working are called funtional addicts as they use their money for drugs . This is what my daughter did before we interviened and got her into a long term rehab in Noupoort.
Good luck

Reply to Concerned mother

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