Posted by: Felicity | 2012/11/20

Family Counselling


I took some advice yesterday with regards to my boyfriends daughter,and I suggested to him that they go for family counselling to get to the bottom of the problem which I am sure stems from her mothers death and her not going into the ICU at all. So he told his daughter last night that they are going for family counselling to sort things out and she refuses. I did tell him that I can not carry on living this life and he needs to do his bit as a father regarding this problem otherwise I am moving out one person can only take so much and I have had 11 months of being degraded and treated badly. Is there any good family counselling rooms on the east rand?

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Our expert says:
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Call FAMSA ( in your p[hone book ) rather than SADAG, for advice on good counsellors near you. This is not the sort of tuing SADAG particularly handles

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bumble | 2012/11/20

The pill shouldn''t cause mood swings, it is designed to stabilize hormones and such.

Reply to Bumble
Posted by: Jenna | 2012/11/20

I wonder if she is not feeling guilty for not seeing her mother in her dying days, and is taking her angry out on YOU rather than herself. I feel the father should have sent her for counselling as soon as the cancer started getting serious and the mother was admitted to ICU. However, she is an adult and knows full well that she is being spiteful and nasty and I don''t think she should get away with it because her mother died THREE years ago. I was very good friends with a girl who found her father dead (and not nice " died in his sleep"  dead either) when she was 8 years old and never behaved in such a dreadful manner.

And yes, maybe she feels that you took over her mother''s place, but she should be angry at her father for allowing that (and actually just adult enough to realize that her father is an adult and can make his own choices and the fact that her mother''s photo''s remain is a sign of respect). Some tough love, discipline and counselling will do her some good. But serious tough love, the father is also pretty useless for entertaining her. If I had spoken about my step mother to my father the way this girl speaks about you, I would have gotten such a hiding.

And really, to be spiteful to your daughter is just plain nasty too- no excuse.

I really think you should give him an ultimatum- it''s not a matter of him having to choose his daughter or you, it''s a matter of him choosing to be a decent father or not. The daughter in essence is disrespecting him too by treating you like this. I would suggest moving out for a bit, but I personally wouldn''t want to give her the satisfaction (and it''s not you being spiteful, it''s you standing up for what you know is right).

If she refuses counselling, then she should move out or respect you and your daughter properly. She is 18, not 10.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Felicity | 2012/11/20

Oh just one more thing.....not sure if this could also be contributing to this whole situation. She is on the pill for her skin only no other reason and has been on it since november last year!!!!!

Reply to Felicity
Posted by: Liza | 2012/11/20

Contact the Depression and Anxiety helpline number at the top of this webpage. They''ll be able to help you with a referral to someone in your area.

Good Luck,

Reply to Liza

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