Our expert says:
Just say no. You have done marvellously in coping with the sort of major difficulties where others would have crumbled , but you seem too preoccupied in helping undeserving others rather than yourself. Maybe your daughter should work more towards getting a house for herself ( unles you mean you aim to buiy a house for yourself to share with her ). And why should your sisters get funded by you ? Why can't they take care of themselves ? Just say that you will no longer function as an ATM for them, and have more important things on which to spend you own hard-earned money, and suggest that they should work harder to earn their own money for themselves. And if there are things they want and can't affford, then they should do without these things, and work harder to earn enough to eventually afford them, themselves.
YOu SHOULD mind helping them. They dont deserve it. Apparently it never crosses their minds to think of assisting or supporting you. WHy not ? You are encouraging them in bad habits.
Your older sister neglects her daughter - if the daughter is young enough, maybe this should be reported to child welfare, as she may not be a fit mother. IF she chooses to spend on liquor rather than food, for herself, that's most unfortunate, but it is her choice. And giving her any more money will only go to buy more money, and worsen her problems.
The other sister is married - why doesn't her husband may for the needs of his children ? She should go to the Maintenance Court and have a court compel him to pay, responsibly, for the care of his children. He fathered them, not you.
If your other sister can't be bothered to help you care for her children, don't pay her a peny - why should you subsidize her selfish preference for sitting with her boyfriend ? Why can't he pay for her needs ? Why can't she get a job ?
Stop feeling bad about your VERY wise decision to stop funding them - they don't deserve it at all. If they choose to go hungry, that is their choice, not yours. Is it better that you should go hungry ? Ignore them until they can be bothered to put their own lives in order, and concentrate responsibly on caring for yourself and your daughter.
If people choose not to earn or cae for themselves, they should suffer the consequences of their decisions. Stop helping them to become more selfish and irresponsible
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