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Question
Posted by: Gen | 2005/11/25

Family

My inlaws were murdered in 2002, and I have never gotton over it, they were amongst the best things that could ever and did ever happen to me.

My problem is I am now 7 months pregnant, and can't stop thinking about all the things they would have done for the little one, and all the support they would have given us, it's a constant reminder when people as me about great grand parents and In-Laws (eg. How they feel about the pregnancy). It's really making things incredibly tough on me and not to mention hubby.

I know people don't mean to be insensitive, but how do I cope with these questions without ending up bawling my eyes in the end, and getting everyone else around me feeling guilty and upset?

I don't want this ruling my life, I am constantly depressed because of this. Will I ever get over it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hello Gen,
Sounds like a form of distorted and chronic grief,. which deserves some serious counselling, with a counsellor experienced in handling grief problems.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: lady nina | 2005/11/25

hi girl

you have come a long way since 2002 - well done
in your posting there is not the bitterness and anger i would expect - you have come a long way girl - good for you

the way i think about things is that there is a BIG BOSS who knows what we need to make us into the best people we can be - he gives us what we need and even if life is not fair - i have to believe that the BIB BOSS is fair and will not allow things to happen that i can handle withwhat is already inside me - sounds so nice when i type it but its hard

HE new your kids will grow up with out the gran parents and somehow or somewhere the need that is left will and can be filled some other way

hope it helps a little

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Friend | 2005/11/25

Remember that because you are pregnant, all the hormones can make you extra emotional and you may cry for no reason. I understand that it is very difficult for you and your husband, because you wanted to share this wonderful time with your inlaws.

Life is cruel and one often asks why such a tragedy happened. There are no answers. When the child is born, you can tell him/her about his/her wonderful grandparents and keep their memory alive this way. You may even name the child after one of them.

Perhaps you and your husband should go for grief councelling. People are generally very insensitive, they say something without thinking, then goes on with their lives and you end up feeling sad and thinks about this all day. See it in this context. All the best to you, your husband and the child.

Reply to Friend

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