Posted by: Marlene | 2007/06/20

Fake friend

Im new here and just wanted to ask you what to do, I have many friends that i love dearly and they have absolutely everything and there is this person i dont know if to call a friend or what. She likes to compete and compare our kids, our styles of living our husbands the list is endless.

Just when i thought im out of her because they are both fake her and the husband they just peach in my home. Those two are just toxic and they like gossiping about other friends of ours and i just dont know how to just stay away from them and i have not told my partner about my feelings and i dont know maybe you can just suggest something.

Anything will appreciated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She doesn't sound at all like a friend, just a nosy and competitive acquaintance. And just explain politely that you don't like it when ANYONE just pitches up at your home, and ask them to phone before they come. And when they start gossipping, just say calmly that you don't enjoy talking about people behind their backs, and can they change the subject. Discuss this with your partner to be sure you are both feeling and responding the same way.
Agree on an approach together, and never visit these people, and be unavailable when they want to visit you --- you have absolutely no duty to do what they want.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Marlene | 2007/06/20

I have tried many times to tell her politely that i dont want visitors at my come unannounced but she just ignore me and go back to her old tricks.

They sometimes come ad she would go to my kitchen to check if i ve got anything new and now i dont know how to rid of her.

When she and together with her husband talks about other people badly i just add positive things about those people just to think they will see i dont like gossiping about people at least SAY SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT people if they are not around but no they just ignore. I hate this and i dont need this in my life.

Reply to Marlene
Posted by: norr | 2007/06/20

you have got your own lifestyle and the way you think about things, you have your say too. you dnt have to be nasty but at the same time assure her that its your kids and they have theyre own way to life, be proud who you are and be proud of your kids! Say what you have to say when you need to say it before they make a mess out of everything. You are new, you need some space to get to know peole, get to know other people too.

Reply to norr

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