Our expert says:
If you'll check back in the archives of this forum, I have many times discussed the issue of discussing death with children. And, while the discussion needs to be kept appropriate to their age, it is best to keep frank and honest. And its worth including the possibilities that some people die when they're very old, by which time they often have various diseases ; or they may die at any age of an accident, or they may die at any age of an illness serious enough to make it too difficult for them to continue living.
I gather you're concern is not wanting to tall her the relative died of HIB/AIDS, because you yourself have HIV.
And you're right that this is something you need to discuss with her anyway. She will have learned something about HIV and AIDS at school, and in what she reads and sees on TV ; and in what she hears ( acurately and inaccurately ) from other children and conversations she overhears.
So you don't have the choice of being sure she will not know about the virus and its problems, or even that you have the virus. At least if you take the initiative to discuss it, you know what you have said together and will know what she does and does not know and how she feels about it.
If may also be helpful for you to raise this same question with the folks on the HIV forum
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