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Question
Posted by: Marlboro | 2007/07/26

Expert

Thanks for being the Expert.
We had spoke about the friend issue and we got an agreement on that. They will not have contact with each other. i have email him all of your guys responses and the stuff that i post here. At first he was kinda hurtfull that i dont talk to him about this issues. As you are aware im seeing a terapist but not so often as I would like.
I trully understand what you try to say to me Expert. We are both commited to make this work.
After a chat we have it has clearly come to me why he is reacting the way he does. i have told my family im gay and they are tottally OK with it. He support me thru the whole process and im glad on the other hand he told me that he envy me for coming out and are kinda jelous that he is still in the closet.
So the point im trying to make is he got some issues that he needs to go and work on.And i have told him that i will be there for him all the way but from this point onwards im not going to take crab into this relationship that put extra presures. so we agree that he will come to CPT this weekend and on Monday we going to see my terapist together.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hello to you Marlboro and thank you for this post.

I'm pleased that you guys could talk about his friend's comments, and that you've come to an agreement on this - but that may be too superficial Marlboro. Did he accept responsibility, did he demonstrate empathy for your feelings, could he relate to this scenario from YOUR perspective? Did he show remorse for his compliance in his friend hurting you? This is the content I'd like to see here. You seem to be a seriously good guy Marlboro who could easily be taken advantage of. I understand and respect that he has a few issues - life is a journey of discovering and resolving our issues - but you shouldn't have to carry these for him. You're worthy of so much more.

I didn't realise that you're in Cape Town! I'm impressed that you're seeing a therapist. Usually your individual therapist can't also see you as a couple for couple therapy, so I suggest that if you require a few sessions of couple therapy you contact me at Triangle Project - we are a team of 14 gay and lesbian psychologists and social workers and some of us specialise in same-sex couple therapy. As a non-profit organisation we charge a tiny fraction of the fee charged by private therapists. Call 021 448 3812.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sue | 2007/07/27

That's Great!! Sterkte hoor! Jy hat baie meer guts as ekke !

Reply to Sue

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