Our expert says:
It depends on what you mean by contact !
Ordinarily I would see no acceptable need for him to contact his ex, if she genuinely is an ex. That he was sneaky about changing the name so as not to reveal her contacts with him is surely suspicious. Hiding her name was not done to stop you from being hurt - refraining from contacting her in any way would have very adequately prrotected you from being hurt. It was sneaky, not kindly.
And you are describing a guy being persistently sneaky in a way that declares that he is up to something. It should be very difficult indeed to trust a husband who behaves in this way about a previous girlfriend.
Insist that he see a marriage counsellor with you, and come clean about this ongoing relationship about which he is being so persistently sneaky
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