Posted by: Bruised | 2005/06/10

Ex toying with my emotions

Hi doc.

My ex and i ended things 6 months ago becoz we were in a long dist. relationship that got to be too much for me. We had "been together" for 4 yrs and have been in contact almost daily since ending it. I am now dating someone else and no major distance is involved. My ex moved to England to work for the year and i was content knowing that i would have very little contact with him so that i could let him go and get on with my life.

Problem is, he phoned me from england...we had a long chat and i was completely swooned. eventually he got the response he wanted - i told him i love him and i would like to see things work out between us someday. since then he has been very quiet and im feeling frustrated, furious and despondent.

How can i cut the chord with him for once and for all and most importantly how can i deal with the low self esteem that has come with giving into him during a time when i was proud of myself and i was doing well without him...and the sense of rejection, shame and disappointment that comes with that. Thanks

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Our expert says:
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You know, Bruised, an Ex can only toy with your emotions if he is not an ex, and if you allow him to do so, by remaining in contact with him and allowing yourself to think that what he says or does is still important to you.
You didn't have to accept his phonecall from England. how can you cut the chord ? Don't acept further calls fromhim, don';t call him, email him, or contact him in any other way, and carry on with the rest of your life. ou did this well before his recent call --- resume that excellently achieved state of mind, and leave him to enjoy England.

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