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Question
Posted by: Liza | 2004/12/13

Ex-husband trying to get me back again

I had my sons for the weekend, and when I went to load them off last night - my ex-husband made a move on me AGAIN. This only happens when he thinks or sees that there is another man in my life. Its as if I'm not allowed to go on with my life. The biggest problem is that even though we're not really compatable, I do still love him. It just upset me so much as I was driving home. Plus when he met my now ex-boyfriend, and shaked hands, he squeezed his hand so hard it cut off the blood supply and left marks for about 10 minutes.

How do I go on with my life if he gets like this every time? I would like to remain friends with him - but that is it - just friends. And he tries to ruin it every time since I won't give in. I'm happy right now. What must I do now? He even wants me to come and spend the 16th as well as Christmas with him and the children. (Its his turn this year to have the children for Christmas)

When I wanted to leave he even tried to physically restrain me from leaving without hurting me. I don't want to go back to the mental abuse I suffered during my marraige to him. So what do I do now?

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Our expert says:
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Is it practical to talk with him about this, whether in person or on the phone ? And to say pretty well what you said here ? That you are fond of him, and don't want him to spoil that, but that you don't want him to make moves on you as you're not available to him in that way, and that you're concerned about the way he seems to consider any other male friend of yours as a rival, as if you were not divorced.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/12/13

Just be strong and be firm with him. You managed successfully to get out of an abusive marriage - don't let him do it to you again.

Keep him at a distance and minimise any contact with him. You have your own life to live now, excluding him.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: lady nina | 2004/12/13

hi there

i'm pretty sure this happens to 90% of all ex couples

i did it to my ex when when he become 'engaged" and he does it to me - i think it's because we can "let go"
letting go would be like admitting failure and to most of us failure is something to be avoided - that why we try and convince our heard thAT MAYBE we can work thing out if only we try this or that of just try harder...

losing someone is very hard because you where one and leaving means losing a part of you .... that scary

just listen to your head and do some self talk

it's hard to "let go"

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Ekke | 2004/12/13

Ek was ook in so 'n verhouding. Hulle wil jou nie he nie maar wil ook nie he ander moet jou vat nie. Verdomde mans!

Reply to Ekke

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