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Question
Posted by: LOLLA | 2007/12/13

EX HUSBAND, PREGNANT AND MY BROTHER

Hi, being 33 weeks pregnant I'm tired and just not in the mood for anything. Being a Christian how am i suppose to feel when my brother tells me he is coming to visit me on xmas day and for 5 days afterwards with a new girlfriend( who is another culture and another religion) this will be the first time i see her or meet her.Should i just keep quiet or am i suppose to tell him you cant bring strange people to my home to meet on xmas ( a time for close family and friends) and also someone who don't even celebrate xmas. second thing i am currently married, got divorced from my 1st husband in 2002. he moved away from our small town and i never seen him again. he got a job nearby and started working for the same company i work for at the beginning of the month. suddenly i can't remember what the hell went wrong and i feel strange thinking of him and seeing him. i know that he will always have a place in my heart. I do love my husband. My ex and i don't speak. Only when i answer the phone for my boss i say hi and how are you nothing more. why these strange emotions and why did i never thought of him and find myself thinking of him so much lately? he got married again and also have a daughter. i have a son age 3 and the next one on the way. He told me he will always love me and never love anyone like he loved me. i now feel cheated because he married again and even has a daughter ( when we where married he never even mentioned having kids) help me, why do i feel like this? i am going out of my mind....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If it's your home, then your brother has no right to bring ANYBODY to visit let alone to stay there, without your permission. That's very bad manners on his side. You should feel free to tell him that the visit he is suggesting would not be acceptable or convenient for you, and he must make other plans for his new girlfriend.
Your uncomfortable emotions on now having to deal with your ex in business, suggests that you haven\t really moved on from that relationship. But remember (a) there MUST have been really good reasons why you parted before, and you can't have simply forgotten those ; and (b) he is now married and with a child, so no sort of affair with him is sensible or justifiable.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: apple | 2007/12/14

you're pregnant, tired, constantly hot (temp) and emotional. whatever you are currently feeling will pass- the baby does crazy things to our emotions - add family, imp holiday and you're an instant mess. take some time out and chat to your brother. With regard to your ex- its the hormones- there was a good reason for you to go thru a divorce all those years ago.. reflect on that.

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Posted by: fgj | 2007/12/14

I disagree. If Christmas is a time for family and friends and technically your brother's girlfriend is his friend then why not. Tell them to stay in a guest house or something. I think you are being biased. My husband took me to meet his parents round about that time before we got married and I cant imagine how it would have felt to be recieved frostily. Whats more one of my close cousins was dating someone with another religion and we welcomed her for xmas- I mean so what if she has another religion, this is the new south africa. Deal with ur issues else you will spoil ur xmas for urself

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