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Question
Posted by: Dave | 2010/08/16

Ex Girlfriend

I don''t know if i am posting in the right section, but i was dating
a girl for 8 years and we have been broken up for the past three years. The problem is i can''t get her out of my head, i dream about her on a daily basis which then inturn makes me think of year the whole day. I some times wonder if i am thinking of her for a reason and there is still hope but i know i should move forward. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Unique's supplementary qustion is excellent.
From your subsequent response to that, I understand your question better.
I think part of the problem for many people in such situations is that they fix on the individual, particular person, as though they were absolutely the ONLY person on earth with whom they could have a happy relationship. And that is, fortunately, never true.
In life one makes many mistakes, some of them for the best of reasons. But you need to move ahead, LEARNING all you can from the last experience, so that the next relationship will not have that problem, so you can benefit from your uncomfortably gained wisdom.
After 3 years, is she still sitting around thinking only of you ? Or has she more sensibly moved on and formed new relationships ?

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Duh | 2010/08/17

You have answered your own question

Reply to Duh
Posted by: Dave | 2010/08/16

We were in our early 20''s and i think we were to young to be staying together, i was out clubbing with my mates all the time
and really took her for granted, you don''t know what you got until it''s gone scenario.

Reply to Dave
Posted by: Unique | 2010/08/16

I''m no expert but it''s really difficult to comment without knowing the circumstance that lead to the break.

For example: a friend of mine broke up with her BF. It was the best thing that could have happened to that relationship. He was cheating and he used her as an ATM.

Another friend broke up with her BF because he was getting cold feet about relocating. She loves him, she misses him and now she admits that expecting the guys to suddenly relocate - 1000s of kms from his family was too much to ask. For this relationship a reconciliation would be a good thing.

Which type of relationship did you have?

Reply to Unique
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/16

Unique's supplementary qustion is excellent.
From your subsequent response to that, I understand your question better.
I think part of the problem for many people in such situations is that they fix on the individual, particular person, as though they were absolutely the ONLY person on earth with whom they could have a happy relationship. And that is, fortunately, never true.
In life one makes many mistakes, some of them for the best of reasons. But you need to move ahead, LEARNING all you can from the last experience, so that the next relationship will not have that problem, so you can benefit from your uncomfortably gained wisdom.
After 3 years, is she still sitting around thinking only of you ? Or has she more sensibly moved on and formed new relationships ?

Reply to cybershrink

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